University Challenged at Christmas (3) (21.12.16)


While I’m enjoying the current daily instalments of University Challenge, I’ll be glad when they go back to the standard shows.

It’s not as fun to mock the ex-students; they’re just too well-established. I’ve nothing bad to say about Samira Ahmed or Wilko Johnson, for example, and I sure as hell can’t play ‘Spot the Murderer’ with them, or ‘Sniff Out the Most Socially Inept’. The last few episodes have been so alarmingly twat-free, I’ve almost abandoned my usual piss-taking and actually listened to the questions.

See below for tonight’s Twitter banter: normal service will be resumed when they bring the knobheads back.

City - London Vs. Newcastle (21.12.16)
7:32pm: Paxman looks world-weary tonight; I bet they threatened to overrule him.

7:33pm: "Their captain has been broadcasting for over twenty years". Long programme.

7:34pm: Needell loves it.

7:35pm: Newcastle's Scales was hit by a very precise gust of wind.

7:36pm: Astley likes to spin on his chair.

7:39pm: I seem to remember someone making Scale's hair on the Great British Bake Off.

7:41pm: Look Scales in the eye and you'll be turned into stone.

7:43pm: I like a flag with festive fringing.

7:45pm: Imagine Paxman's disdain whilst playing charades on Christmas Day.

7:45pm: Is City London's mascot a jaunty penis?

7:48pm: I'm making Paxman saying "Breast-shaped hill" my text tone.

7:50pm:            PROSPECTIVE BRIDE: "Will you marry me, Jeremy?"
PAXMAN: "....no."

7:51pm: ...it's the bloody Shining.

7:52pm: "...and later popularised by Freud." Something to do with my mum.

7:54pm: Super-charismatic expialidocious.

7:56pm: Needell's slimy pervy face.

7:58pm: For the last three days, the team in the bottom half of the split-screen has lost; it's witchcraft.

7:59pm: Surely NO-ONE has to do it?

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