mostly david ephgrave

I find it worrying, looking back on my Twitter feed, that I managed to post a tweet for nearly every minute of tonight’s final of Strictly Come Dancing. I was in the strange position this year (as I mentioned at 8:17pm) of liking all the celebrities left in the competition and consequently, not really minding who won, as long as Jay from The Wanted didn’t find a way of sneaking into the studio unnoticed to become eligible to participate for a time; I really didn’t like that man. Unsurprisingly, they all put in great performances, so it could have gone any way. I expected Danny Mac to win, as he was the most consistent and perhaps the best dancer technically, but also had a soft spot for Louise (and an even softer spot for her partner Kevin from Grimsby). When Tess Daly announced Ore was the champion, I was surprised but not disappointed (as I said at 8:50pm), as he’s a great performer, and someone I’d warmed to, despite finding him irritating on BB...

My God, I tweet along to the television a lot. Still, at least it keeps me out of trouble, relatively speaking. Tonight’s Strictly didn’t really set me alight, save a couple of routines (including, strangely, two rhumbas). This didn’t stop me from giving my own running commentary to the show; who wouldn’t want to read the thoughts of an ex-Musical Theatre student with a general mistrust of Musical Theatre, and has zero dance ability?  See below for what went from my brain to my phone to Tim Berners-Lee’s Internet. 6:37pm: I'll probably tweet about #Strictly for a bit. Sorry. 6:38pm: I've got tension in MY ballroom. It's essentially a muscle strain. 6:41pm: Tess Daly has borrowed Vanessa Feltz's hair for the evening. 6:42pm: Lesley Joseph has come as 1970s Cher. 6:44pm: Judge Rinder is wearing sparkly camouflage, thus negating the camouflage. 6:47pm: Oksana's skimpy outfit is cunning...

Every Strictly Come Dancing audience member that groans after the judges give their feedback is a professional choreographer. That must be the case. How else would they have a sufficient understanding of what Craig, Darcey, Len and Bruno are about to say to boo before they’ve finished their sentence? They’re all experts. Either that, or they’ve watched too many pantos through the years. I sometimes wonder if they’ve even seen the show before. It took me minutes to spot the pattern to Craig Revel Horwood’s comments. He starts with the bad and ends with the good. It’s not hard to get to grips with. What these on-beat-clapping mouth-breathers don’t realise is you seldom get positive feedback in the performing arts industry. A director or choreographer will usually only tell you when you’ve got something wrong, not when you’ve got something right. You work at such a lick, there’s little time for affirmation. If you get no notes, you're doing well. That said, I know...