mostly david ephgrave

I sometimes feel I’m on the outside of the group, largely thanks to social media. It’s probably paranoia, but I often worry people don’t like me, or think I’m self-promoting, detached or arrogant. I suspect I irritate those I know with too many jokes, or by trying to chase up an audience for my shows. Yet again, Facebook is the biggest negative influence, with me regularly feeling like I’m shouting into the darkness to disinterest. This suspicion also translates to my work, particularly with comedy. I regularly offer gigs, but seldom get any back. I’ll actively mention I’m on the hunt for spots and previews on Facebook and Twitter, in the hope that this might result in an act I know returning the favour, largely to silence - but when someone else does the same thing, or shares what they're up to, the Like Brigade come out in force. I know I’ve probably got the wrong end of the stick. There’s little point in worrying about what’s happening on Facebook anyway, as it i...

I sometimes wonder if I only make arrangements to give me something else to find difficult to pull out of last-minute. Tonight’s a case in point. I was meant to go to my meditation class, which has just started up again after its half term break, but as my departure time drew closer, I began to um and ah about whether I wanted to go. I had good reason: I’m planning to attend an open mic gig in London tomorrow in hope of picking up a walk-in spot to try out some material, and because I’m meeting up with a friend during the day, I won’t have much time to prepare for it. I’d meant to do more work on my set today, but because I met up with another friend – yes, I have two - I didn’t get as much done as I’d like. I suddenly realised that if I didn’t attend the class tonight, I’d get the chance to run my set, and write this, and not feel so pressured tomorrow. The problem is, if I don’t do something I’m meant to, I feel very guilty about it. I start to...