4:22PM: (Just to clarify, we're not imprisoning him.)
4:24PM: Look at it. It was a work of art. LOOK AT IT.
4:24PM: My money's on him having eaten it.
4:25PM: It was the healthiest Filofax on the planet.
4:27PM: It was all the colours of the rainbow. Literally.
4:27PM: Apart from the ones you can't see. Which is ironic, as now you can't see it.
4:36PM: If I run out of time to write a new show for Edinburgh, can I just dispense seven-day pill-organisers to the audience like a shopping channel made flesh?
4:42PM: I've ordered a new one. Fuck it.
4:46PM: (I've also ordered him some scourers, but I'm worried the colour scheme will confuse it.)
4:46PM: WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE SO JOLLY?
4:52PM: Perhaps I can develop a mechanism that'll dispense tablets directly to his mouth at the given time in the style of the board game Mouse Trap.
4:52PM: (Something to think about.)