mostly david ephgrave

I'm trying to keep everything relatively lowkey at the moment and focus on the precious little things that bring good. One such thing is spending time with the dog and enjoying what he enjoys. He loves shooting around the garden, and I like to watch him and spur him on. I'm often so caught up in my head from day to day that I take things like this - or taking him for a walk - for granted. I'm trying not to though, as these moments are what life is all about. Spending time with the wife is another example (though the second-billing was accidental). We've had a lot to process lately, and while this stuff doesn't just vanish, I think we've earnt some time away from it. Recent events have underlined how you can spend a lifetime trapped in someone else's timeline to almost miss out on your own. But approaching forty is a good time to make a conscious effort to live a little differently: to attempt to look to the present and the future instead of always l

There was a point about halfway into Friday's ZOOMostly Comedy interview with Bobby Davro when it suddenly hit me how special the whole thing was. Bobby Davro, joining us via Zoom for our More Than Mostly Comedy Podcast (12.06.20) It was probably partly because Bobby's such a giving performer who throws himself into his work wholeheartedly, jumping from impressions to gags to anecdotes with a scattergun approach. And I mean that positively. It also helped that we were joining him live through the magic of the internet as he sat at the stool of his baby grand piano in his glamourous house, like he was giving a remote award acceptance speech or a prerecorded message for This is Your Life. That - and the fact the conversation was packed with great stories and a lot of laughter - put us in a privileged position, and one we would never have been in if it weren't for the current lockdown; you've got to find the positives, however small they may be. Me, during the

I'm currently a podcast editing machine, having finished the Rory Bremner episode on Monday, and I'm now in the process of mixing the Mark Morriss episode to clear the way for two more interviews over the weekend. While it's great to be productive and be working on new content with Glyn, it's doesn't take away my fear about money. Part of the reason for the live interviews was to generate some income to keep Mostly Comedy ticking over through the current crisis but, while they're going well and proving popular, at the moment the cost to do them cancels any income out. And the slow sales for the next few recordings risks us coming out at a loss overall. Either way, I certainly can't pay myself. Things were already concerning. Because my business made a loss this past three years, I'm not eligible for financial support from the Government's COVID-19 self-employment scheme. Meanwhile, Mostly Comedy's closed for the foreseeable future and is

Last night, we interviewed the brilliant Rory Bremner for our More Than Mostly Comedy Podcast - the second guest to join us via Zoom since lockdown - for what was a predictably witty and insightful conversation. Rory, making us laugh with his Michael Howard last night. While it's fair to say Rory was always on my wishlist, he's someone I would never have dreamt would appear at Mostly Comedy before he did. He's an act like Paul Daniels, John Thomson or Ardal O'Hanlon, who appeals to the kid/teenager inside me, who grew up watching these performers for them to have a formative influence. And as I said to him during our interview, it was his satirical shows of the early-1990s - alongside 'Have I Got News For You' - that first educated & informed me of politics and its innate ridiculousness. Despite not believing we'd secure an act of his calibre at the club, we were delighted when he first agreed to do it in 2016 and overjoyed when he turned ou

My mental health's very vulnerable at the moment, though I'm meditating regularly to keep it in check. I have classes every Tuesday, via Zoom (like so many other things right now) and took part in an online retreat last weekend too. We met three times that day via webcam for ninety-minute sessions of guided meditation and were encouraged to practise mindfulness in our own time too; not that I did much as it was my wife's birthday. And it certainly helped me slow my mind down for a bit (so much so, I fell asleep during one of the sessions). The problem is keeping on top of the low mood that seeps through. I have podcast interviews to research for and promote with little energy to do it, particularly when there's no real money coming in. I've spent the last few years trying to get the right agent, but the current climate will make taking on new clients unlikelier than usual. I know my circumstances are mirrored if not worsened the world over with COVID-19 and

I'm struggling to process the loss of both parents; one to cancer and the other to end a cycle of emotional abuse. My nerves feel utterly shot. The past year saw my relationship with my mum unravel through being built on unsteady ground. Whenever her expectations tested my boundaries, I still did my best to meet them. Some of my earliest memories are the lies she made me tell - to hide four affairs from my dad when I was a child, right up to her secretly getting married seven months before he died, yet refusing to tell him, and insisting I lie about that too. And though it wasn't fair to repeatedly put me in this position, I met her terms, because I loved her.  I was a witness at the wedding to show forgiveness to the two people who'd made my childhood so traumatic, yet within months, I was accused of homophobia by a solicitor my mum refused to correct. And she walked off from my dad's burial, seconds after I'd lowered his ashes into the grave, disappearing a