mostly david ephgrave

Time and again, I tell myself I won’t get sucked into playing hashtag word games on Twitter, and yet I still do. It’s nigh on impossible to not think of at least one appropriate pun when you see the hashtag crop up - usually despite yourself - and once you’ve thought of it, you may as well post it. Then you may as well do another, until before you know it, it’s 4am and you’re still at it; it’s a slippery, sleep-deprived slope to coin an alliterative phrase. They say puns are lazy writing and in many ways that’s true, but that doesn’t make coming up with a good example less satisfying. I imagine that’s the only chink of light in the dull, monotonous grind of a writer of Christmas cracker jokes that makes the rest of their shift bearable; it’s the sole thing that separates the talentless hack from the chip-shop-namer. I just wish I could channel this dubious talent into something more lucrative. Perhaps I could get a job as Tim Vine...

I’ve never one to pass up a hashtag word game on Twitter, least of all when it involves my specialist subject: The Beatles. So tonight, in the interest of having an early night as I’ve got Mostly Comedy to contend with tomorrow, I thought I’d share a few tweets I just dashed off for the trending game #SitcomTheBeatles; there aren’t many of them and they aren’t that special, but at least they keep me off the streets: 10:42PM: 2point4 No One. 10:43PM: Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Raymond. 10:43PM: Frasier Blues. 10:44PM: Mrs Brown's Boys. 10:45PM: Rising Damp (with Eleanor Rigsby) 10:46PM: Only Fools on the Hill and Horses. 10:47PM: Wait(ing for God) 10:49PM: Goodnight (Sweetheart). 10:50PM: Yes it (Min)is(ter). 10:54PM: Steptoe and Sun King. 10:55PM: Are You Being For the Benefit of Mr Kite? 11:00PM: Baby's in Blackadder. ...

Tonight, my love for Twitter hashtag games reared its ugly head, when I was unwittingly sucked into a round of #BoysNameSongs. When it comes to these things, I can’t help myself, though having said that, it proved a nice palate cleanser for the head after a day of working on stand-up material. It was only on looking back at my Twitter feed a moment ago that I realised I was playing along for nearly forty minutes, which is embarrassing; still, it kept me out of trouble. See below for my contributions to the #BoysNameSongs; see if you can spot when it all went very Beatle-centric. 7:39pm: Private Dan-cer. 7:39pm: Glyn the Navy. 7:40pm: When a Dan Loves a Norman. 7:40pm: Baz Long as Steve Needs Me. 7:41pm: Fred Fred Wine. 7:46pm: John the Wings of a Love. 7:46pm: Stan By Me. 7:48pm: Band on Darren. 7:50pm: Good Dave Sunshine. 7:52pm: Coffee & Stevie. 7:...

I like to join in with the odd Twitter hashtag game from time to time. It’s a good way to distract yourself from whatever you should be doing. Why work when you can spend the time coming up with dodgy puns? It’s the closest I’ll get to writing headlines for The Sun, which is probably for the best. It’s not clever, yet it’s satisfying. You could apply that to both. The game I enjoyed the most was #6WordFilmPlots. It appealed to my obsession with conciseness. It’s something I aspire to. Sometimes I’m good at it, sometimes I’m not. I enjoyed the concept so much, I saved my Tweets to remember them. Here are a few: ·       Man-child plays giant piano with feet. #6wordfilmplots ·       Italian-American cabbie shows dissatisfaction with job. #6wordfilmplots ·       Phallic-named whale escapes Sealife Centre. #6wordfilmplots ·       S...