mostly david ephgrave

Today saw my first public transport adventure since the COVID lockdown and my first visit to a town centre (Stevenage, unfortunately*) in months. Using the bus was fine, actually, though it would probably have been a different story at a busier time of day. Still, the trip to town was an eye-opener, when you consider people's attitude to personal safety. Whole families were walking around maskless, crossing my personal space, and the covered-over bus stop was full of people sitting next to each other with their masks around their necks like it somehow only mattered if you're close to others in a moving vehicle. It perplexes me how people can be blasé about the risk. These restrictions - most of which have admittedly been poorly executed - weren't just instigated for something to do. The lockdown's not the enemy to celebrate the easing of; the problem's the illness. The public's bad attitude to the pandemic is best illustrated by the numbers who rush to Britain...

I was only in Stevenage town centre briefly today, to make a connection on the bus to visit my dad, but the few minutes spent there were still a bleak experience. I say this from the point of view of someone who grew up there for the first sixteen-ish years of my life and didn’t want to leave it, which either suggests I was looking at it through some kind of filter inspired by youth, or that standards have seriously dipped since; I would say it’s a little of each, but mostly the latter, as the town needs serious regeneration to shake its lacklustre image. The problem with Stevenage new town is it isn’t, by which I mean it’s barely shrugged off its original 1950s architecture to move with the times and find improvement; this makes for a wholly uninspiring, apathetic atmosphere that it’s very hard to change. I think it takes real energy for anyone to sum up the motivation to want to leave it and move on; that’s not they should have to, but it’s not l...

There was a man on the bus today whose sneeze sounded exactly like a police radio. Now that I’ve piqued your interest, I thought I’d share some of the things I’ve tweeted about buses in the past (because this transition was obvious). You’re in for a riveting ride, but feel free to press the buzzer if you want to get off. Someone on the back of the bus just made a noise like they were dying. I like a bus with a stop bell that perforates your eardrum. This isn't a bus, it's a kiln. Hot Topic on the Bus: "Do you like Murray Mints?" Sat on a bus passing another bus on a very tight corner. "That's poor timetabling", I muttered to myself. #DullestThingEverSaid Boy on the bus, drinking from a family-sized bottle of Coke. Bye bye teeth. Clean up cat sick. Run for the bus. My life is non-stop glamour. I'm waiting for a bus. See: I'm just like you. Hoping to fit on a bus while surrounde...

The disdain with which the driver said 'Yes' today when I asked whether his bus went to Hitchin was truly off the scale. He couldn’t believe I wasn’t privy to this information. How could I not know? All public transport marked "Baldock" goes to Hitchin. You just have to read between the fucking lines. Anyone boarding his vehicle should know his roster and routes. He shouldn’t need to impart them. He’s driven the 635 on-and-off for fifteen years, for Christ’s sake. He knows the journey inside out. He drives it instinctively, without thought. Then some young upstart has the nerve to ask which towns he passes through, as if the one-word destination on the front of his bus wasn’t enough. It reminds me of the time I met my friend Steve for one of our affectionately-titled Old Man Pub Crawls. It coincided with Quiz Night at our favourite pub. We decided to pop by on a whim to see if we could participate. The landlady’s tone on being asked if there was space c...