Strictly Come Tweeting: Week Twelve (10.12.16)

It’s hard to believe we’re teetering toward the end of the current series of Strictly Come Dancing.

Before we know it, it’ll all be over, and the show will decamp to Channel Four for a reboot hosted by Paul Hollywood, sans Mary, Mel and Sue. I, for one, don’t relish this, as the BBC is Strictly’s natural environment, even when hosted by the less-than-natural Tess Daly; I think she's made of polyester.

(I may be a little confused.)

See below for my twitter running commentary for tonight. It’s a laugh-a-minute, or your money back.

6:55pm: Ah, the awkwardness of the judges-dancing-on bit.

7:00pm: There's a conveyor belt on stage; where's Brucie?

7:01pm: (I'd like to point out, I got the Brucie 'conveyor belt' joke in seconds before Len).

7:02pm: Hallo...the Craig Revel Horwood Panto Beard is in progress.

7:03pm: Why they haven't had Louise dance to her Top 4 single 'Arms Around the World', I'll never know (yes, that's right: I remember it).

7:04pm: ...or Naked. They could have had Louise dancing to Naked.

7:06pm: Danny Mac's face and hair looks identical in every training video and dance, which is really quite a talent.

7:07pm: Oti's legs stretch from Land's End to John O'Groats. FACT.

7:09pm: The 'high-waisted slacks with braces, a sparkly vest and an open shirt look' is vastly underrated.

7:12pm: Danny's come as a camp Bobby Ball.

7:13pm: You can always tell when Bruno's got a ten brewing.

7:15pm: Gusset action.

7:19pm: Claudia and AJ's Rhumba / Rumba / Rum baba is my favourite routine of the evening so far.

7:20pm: Len says Claudia is dressed as his favourite Quality Street; he better not say anything about unwrapping it.

7:22pm: AJ's hair tonight is reminiscent of Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic.

7:23pm: Swap Joanne with Ore's wife Portia and no-one would notice.

7:25pm: Joanne's hair's a bit Mad Max.

7:26pm: Joanne very nearly gave Ore a Glasgow Kiss then.

7:29pm: Craig's beard grows while-u-wait.

7:35pm: Something clicks when I do an Argentine Tango too. In my back.

7:37pm: Looking at the graphics on the floor during Louise and Kevin's samba is giving me an acid flashback.

7:45pm: Danny really is very, very good, isn't he?

7:48pm: Out come four ten paddles, me'thinks.

7:52pm: My wife just pointed out that Claudia and AJ are doing their quickstep on the wall from Blockbusters.

8:02pm: Darcey, to Ore: "You don't take your eyes off your partner".

...that's because she looks like his wife.