mostly david ephgrave

It wouldn’t be a Monday without me turning to Twitter to subconsciously act out my jealousy of the University Challenge contestants' intelligence by picking on them so personally and unscrupulously   - so here goes. (I’m sorry for being such a git.) 8:03pm: Kirkman is like Scottish for church, man. 8:05pm: Paxman thinks Bennett's "cuticle". 8:06pm: Kirkman saw tonight's # UniversityChallenge as 'Dress-down Monday'. 8:08pm: Ormestad Frendem is Mednerf Datsemro backwards. 8:09pm: Ormestad Frendem's hair looks like it's parted the wrong way. 8:10pm: Ormestad Frendem: two bad hands at Scrabble. 8:11pm: Gard-Murray's beard perfectly matches his name. 8:12pm: Kaliski's dad was Pob. 8:14pm: Gard-Murray's jacket and facial hair are made from the same corduroy. 8:17pm: Ormestad Frendem's surname was formed from left-over letters...

This time last week, I brought up one of my least attractive habits: my propensity for tweeting along with University Challenge, indirectly berating the contestants. Seven days have passed, with no improvement on my part. See below for this week’s social media bullying. I’m a nice person, really. No. Really. 8:02pm: Look at Gard-Murray. LOOK AT HIM. 8:03pm: Leahy's face hasn't settled yet. 8:04pm: Oxford's Smith and Gard-Murray sound like John Thomson's scientist in The Fast Show. 8:05pm: Kaliski can hear you from there. 8:06pm: Leahy is wearing DeForest Kelley's top from the original series of Star Trek. 8:07pm: Osborn looks like an angry, bearded Art Garfunkel. 8:10pm: Kalisky: son of Pob. 8:12pm: Page's hair. So soft. Not an ounce of product. 8:12pm: Leahy is absolutely sh*tting it. 8:14pm: Leahy regrets the speed he took, pre-episode. ...