mostly david ephgrave

While editing photos for July's Hitchin Mostly Comedy Festival today, I inadvertently turned the comedian Daniel Cook into the sleeve of The Miracle by Queen.   Maybe this is how album covers are invented: by chance events. Perhaps Freddie was fiddling around with a primitive version of Photoshop in 1989 (or an airbrush?) when he accidentally morphed all his band members’ heads into a monster four-person amalgam. Either that, or Queen genuinely started life as conjoined quadruplets that were separated by innovative surgery, and that’s in fact the miracle the album title’s referring to; let’s face it (or four-face it): they’d have to be incredibly fortunate to survive the operation when you consider the nature of their overlap; they've barely got a pair of eyes between them. I like to imagine it was Anita Dobson who performed the operation, as the waiting list was too long for it to be done under the NHS. Speaking of Dobson, I find it ...

Worryingly, the biggest laugh I got at tonight’s Mostly Comedy was entirely by accident – when I fell over on stage in full view of the audience. To be fair, the fall was pretty spectacular. It happened at the beginning of the second half. I introduced myself from the off-stage mic, bounded on energetically – and, thanks to the distinct lack of grip on the soles of my shoes, skidded and collapsed in a heap on the floor. My limbs splayed in every direction; I wasn't aware of my own flexibility. What made it particularly special was the off-stage introduction. I made absolutely certain that everyone was looking in my direction; I might a well have dived through a hoop into a pool full of water. I’d like to think I made the most of a potentially embarrassing situation: I stood up afterwards with my arms outstretched, like a gymnast completing a tricky dismount – and bowed to the audience. All it needed was Glyn to hold up a scorecard for th...