mostly david ephgrave

Much as I have done many a year previously, this evening I found myself tweeting along with tonight's Eurovision Song Contest. I decided to immortalise my commentary for the sake of future generations. Here goes:  8:01PM: Surely all the contestants should travel separately though, like with the royal family.  8:04PM: Didn't I see the host sitting on top of my nan's toilet roll once? 8:05PM: Will Theresa May step off the plane to the tune of Dancing Queen? 8:07PM: Dana International forgot to take her outfit off its coat-hanger. 8:10PM: Because pyros & planes definitely mix.  8:13PM: I can't wait for Papa Bendi. 8:19PM: Malta: poor man's Joss Stone.  8:20PM: Sometimes, I perform in the second position. 8:23PM: Having to halt my #Eurovision viewing experience to call my dad to remind him the Amazon Echo name he needs to remember is Alexa.  Not Melissa. Not Electra.  (I wrote it on a piece of paper and stuck it to his bedside table) It's ALEXA. 8:25P...

I don’t let taking part in the biggest arts festival on the planet stand in the way of live-Tweeting University Challenge; when the nation expects a service, you can’t say no. Tonight’s show was dominated by Davis’ facial hair and general demeanour, which reeked of smug git; they say you should never judge a book by its cover, but what if the cover includes a wax-styled tache? It didn’t help that he distinctly reminded me of three people I know and find particularly self-satisfied and may even have been projecting their traits onto Davis’ undeserving shoulders, but I wouldn’t bet on it; you can’t really look like that without being similarly contrived. See below for the usual concise social-media-bitching that’s neither big, nor clever.   SOAS Vs. Darwin - Cambridge (13.08.18) 8:34PM: Hoodie under a leather jacket; interesting choice. 8:35PM: Davis thinks he's Dali. We think he's a gimp. 8:37PM: Mulley looks li...

Like much of the country (bar Nigel Farage, Jacob Rees Mogg and probably Boris Johnson) I watched last night’s Eurovision, and like many others, I tweeted along to it. I was so busy doing this, in fact, I actually missed the moment when the guy invaded the stage as I was looking at my phone; I was just about to tweet something along the lines of “What was the rap break about?” when I realised it wasn’t part of it. See below for my commentary on last night's show; you could even catch up with it on iPlayer while reading along - like watching The Wizard of Oz while listening to Dark Side of the Moon - though that’s a lot of effort. 8:05PM: "...which is Portuguese..." 8:07PM: Will this song ever kick in? With that many drummers, it's got to kick in. 8:08PM: They should rename this the Camp Olympics. 8:09PM: Or 'The Camplympics'. 8:11PM: The Czech Republic are being represented by Matt...