mostly david ephgrave

For me, no morning would be complete without a visit to the world’s rudest newsagent. I’ve been going there on and off since I was a student, but judging from the reception I receive you wouldn’t think that was the case. If anything, the atmosphere suggests I’d once willfully, maliciously, taken a dump on the floor – and then eyeballed the owner whilst stamping it into the carpet. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this. Perhaps I’ve misunderstood the concept of customer loyalty and regular patronage is actually the height of rudeness. Maybe it’s not a newsagent at all; whenever I’ve asked for a paper they’ve sold me their own copy out of ‘politeness’. In this shop customers are an inconvenience; an unwelcome spoke in the wheel of an otherwise smooth-running business. I think I'd only ever be welcomed if I aged thirty years, took up pipe-smoking - and walked in asking for a lifetime subscription to the Daily Mail.     This wasn’t alwa...