mostly david ephgrave

The plus side to my show being cancelled tonight, small as it was, was I was able to watch this evening’s University Challenge. I’ve only missed one episode in the whole series thus far, yet this didn’t stop me from receiving a couple of messages from people who know I tend to live-tweet it, expressing disappointment in my lack of commentary; perhaps this means I’m providing a service in some way, albeit a useless, frivolous one. Whatever the case may be, it was good to be able to resume my usual duties. As ever, there was plenty to mock; see below for the mocking I offered up: Oxford Brookes Vs. Merton - Oxford (22.01.18). 8:33PM: Oxford Brookes sounds like a war poet. 8:33PM: I've got an average age of thirty-six too. 8:34PM: Jeremy Paxman has two pet guinea-pigs called Come On and No. 8:37PM: Thomas looks like a child dressed as an adult...and he looks like he loves it. 8:39PM: Thomas, son of Herr F...

I missed last night’s University Challenge (the only episode this series that I didn’t watch when it went out) but this didn’t stop a tweet I posted during last week’s edition from continuing to climb the social media charts. My nest-egg. I have a reputation for live-tweeting along with the programme - I know of at least one Twitter follower who has muted the University Challenge hashtag because of me, which can only be a mark of success - so the fact I didn’t watch last night’s show did my OCD no good. It seems I needn’t have worried, as apparently I’m not required to post sarcastic commentary to still have an online presence. Perhaps I should develop some software that'll generate my pithy critique by algorithm; it would certainly give me a break. What I can’t understand is how a tweet I posted a good - no: "fantastic" - 168 hours earlier was still being seen; if I knew, I'd just remove myself from the equation. At least sixteen people fav...

Last night saw this year’s Team Strictly’s first routines of the series, and while there was no audience vote and therefore no threat of losing a couple, it still gave a reasonable idea of where things may go. The obvious stand-out of the show was Debbie McGee, whose Paso was stupidly good for her first dance, not to mention for someone of her age (let’s be clear: of any age). The judges were unanimous in their praise, which was only right, putting her at the top of the first leader-board - until JLS’s Aston Merrygold closed the show with a foxtrot which left them salivating, but didn’t really do it for me (though I liked Janette’s outfit).  But don’t let me being quoted in last night's Telegraph write-up fool you: despite five years' performance training, I know nothing about dance. See below for my tweets on the show (because they need to be preserved for future generations): 6:28PM: Ah, the speeding-up, on-beat clapping; got to be the #Strictly ...

While I enjoyed tonight's Strictly Come Dancing launch show, it was always going to be overshadowed by the recent, sad passing of Bruce Forsyth for me. News of his death genuinely upset me; such is my respect for him as a performer. I’ve already written about this subject here more than once, but it’s worth reiterating how extraordinary he was, and how he was the absolute picture of versatility. His early involvement in Strictly helped give the show kudos, thanks to his wealth of experience both as a dancer and a host of prime-time TV; he was the King of Saturday Night Entertainment and that’s a title he'll never lose, as no-one could ever rival him, or even want to. As is always my way, I tweeted along with the show (like a mouth-breathing teenager with their smart-phone super-glued to their sweaty mitts). See below for what went from my brain to my fingers to the Internet; but was it worth it? 7:01PM: Apologies to anyone who is...

Today saw the second instalment of this year's series of the Bake Off, which I watched with the fingers of one hand poised on my mobile's Twitter app, and the other hovering over the biscuit barrel; I like to multi-task. See below for a round-up of my sweet-treat tweets, thus marking the third day running of Twitter-based blog posts; it seems that after Edinburgh, I can only write in 140-character bursts. 8:01pm: Mel's hood makes her look like Rod Stewart. 8:04pm: The strings underscoring #GBBO are played by the Hollywood, Berry, Perkins and Giedroyc Quartet.   8:05pm: Val's ice cream anecdote was worthy of Parkinson.   8:07pm: Tom packing a sausage = FOOD PORN. 12:08pm: Benjamina's not a name. 8:11pm: I like how the colour of Paul Hollywood's beard fades into his shirt. 8:14pm: Paul & Mary's challenge: make 24 identical biscuits. David's challenge: to eat 24 identical biscuits before the end of segment. 8:16pm: The downside to...