mostly david ephgrave

I’ve already discussed my love of overhearing snippets of conversation on this blog. I don’t seek them out in a voyeuristic, Chuck Berry video-camera-hidden-in-a-public-toilet type way (Google it); they just tend to follow me about. I’m always catching something that sounds bizarre, amusing or mundane out of context, and then tweeting it to remember it. It occurred to me today that, while I’ve documented some of my favourite unintentionally eavesdropped classics here before, I did it nearly two years ago. Bearing this in mind, see below for some of the best utterances I’ve accidentally monitored - and then less accidentally catalogued on Twitter - since October 2013; that’s very specific. "No amount of money would make me work on a Sunday. Unless you offered me five hundred quid." CHILD: "Can we see a clown?" MUM: "No. Sorry. There are no clowns about at the moment." "We're going t...

I suspect the woman on the train wasn’t as interested in the subject of flame-retardant materials as the man sitting next to her thought she was. ‎ This didn’t stop him ploughing on. It’s surprising how long someone can talk about non-combustible insulation without pausing for breath; in this instance, the duration of a train journey from King’s Cross to Hitchin, taking the slowest route. We’re talking forty-five minutes – or  he  was, more like. ‎ That doesn’t take into account when we were held at a signal (the red light being a sign for the driver and not for  him ). It seems Mr Asbestos was hell-bent on filling every inch of available airspace with fire-resistant drivel; completely oblivious to ‎ the monosyllabic interjections from his disinterested companion. ‎ (I've swallowed a dictionary.) ‎ That woman showed patience. It was probably imagining dousing him in petrol and setting him alight that got her through it. It certainly helped me.