mostly david ephgrave

This week, I've gone on holiday to Center Parcs – and where better to spend a few days away than in a Butlins for people with middle-class aspirations? This isn’t my first trip to the Dutch version of a holiday camp, though it’s my first time as an adult. It’s good to be back. It’s wonderful to have a few days away, as it’s something we seldom get to do. I kicked the day off by speaking to some ducks (see picture); they weren’t very interested in me. Over lunch, my wife made a ceramic cow vomit milk into a cup (that's not a sentence I thought I’d ever write).   The most enjoyable portion of the day, however, was from 4:00pm to 8:59pm, as we spent this alarmingly precise timeframe making the most of the park’s spa facilities.   Until 4:00pm, I was a spa virgin. I’d been to the odd Spar or two, but they were a lot less relaxing. Weak jokes side, I loved it. It took a little while to get used to my surroundings and get over my self-co...

Today, in a change to the usual theme, I've managed to fit time for relaxation around my work.  I caught the bus to Stotfold this morning, to walk my mum's dog. I do this once a week, when I'm available. I meditated on the bus, which helped me to start the day on a calmer note. I arrived at my mum's house to find Barley (the dog) staring through the front window. When he spotted me, he couldn't conceal his excitement. He was all over me when I opened the door. He's a contender for the Friendliest Dog on the Planet.  We took our usual route around the village, meeting a doting woman (over Barley, not me) and some cats along the way. We then walked around the circumference of the park before going home, where he sat at my feet while I made a sandwich, like the faithful hound that he is.   On the bus back to Hitchin I sent a few emails, trying to chase a line-up for our forthcoming Mostly Comedy Summer Special. It's proving a challenge. Booking acts...

While I’ve no interest in the sport at all, I like to hear the sound of people playing football in the park near my flat every Sunday morning. It epitomises the day for me. It’s quite comforting. It helps that it often comes with a backdrop of church bells ringing. I usually only hear it when I’m in the bath. Something about the lack of a rush to get ready, along with knowing they play purely for fun, makes for a relaxing experience. Until the water goes cold. It would be a different story if I was walking past them. I’d spent the whole time terrified they’d kick the ball in my direction. They’d only expect me to kick it back. There’d be no guarantee I could make it take the desired trajectory. Even if it did, I’d have to do it a fair few times to get it close to the game. It’s funny that I like it so much, when I hate the sound of football supporters en masse ( something I’ve covered before ). To me, it’s the sound of ignorance. Or of a potential ‘bottling’. I’m...

Yesterday, I started a short course on meditation. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for ages. I’ve finally bitten the bullet. This isn’t my first meditative experience; I dabbled a little in the past, when I was going through a long and frustrating bout of insomnia. I watched an excellent documentary series on BBC2 at the time called The Monastery , in which a handful of men – mostly non-religious - gave up the trappings of society for a few weeks to move into a Benedictine Monastery, to attempt the monastic way of life. The programme had a surprisingly profound effect on me. I was stuck by how calm - and above all, happy - the monks were. The Abbot in charge of the monastery had a very switched-on and modernistic approach. I discovered that he’d written a book called Finding Sanctuary , which tackled the subject of applying some non-religious monastic principles to everyday life. I decided to track down a copy. Ordering the b...