mostly david ephgrave

You know you’re overtired when you find yourself so drowsy from dozing that you speak to someone who isn’t there as you return to consciousness, loudly and confidently as if you were mid-conversation. “Yes”, I said to no-one in particular as I woke up from my brief snooze, proving that whatever it was I was just dreaming, I was very sure of it.   I’ve been feeling extremely shattered since returning from Edinburgh as the exhaustion of a month away catches up with me. as I write, I’m literally struggling to stay awake and should really just go to bed, though this probably wasn’t helped by the combination of a couple of glasses of wine I’ve had this evening and the medication I’m taking; either way, this paragraph has taken far more persistence than it really should have done and to what end? I sometimes have quite skewed priorities, though then again I’m probably just overdramatizing because of the tiredness; either way, my time would be...

Today’s show was a good one, which I was pleased about, as (1) I didn’t sleep well last night and (2) I had some friends in. Last night, I couldn’t switch my brain off. I usually listen to a guided meditation to assist falling asleep, which is always very helpful, but I should have known from the off it wasn’t going to do the trick yesterday when I spent a good ten minutes trying to set a level that didn’t make my phone buzz with the vibration of the recording, thus irritating me instead of helping me relax. It took me at least an hour to finally go under and I then woke up very early too, which isn’t exactly a winning combination. Part of the problem was I was very aware of having friends watching today and wanted to be well-rested for the show. Then, when I didn’t fall asleep quickly, I started to panic; what if I don’t get off at all? This is what happens when you get this far into a run and start over-thinking things. For me, each show is as important as the next, but ...

Worryingly, I seem to have reached the point in my life where I regularly fall asleep while watching television of an evening.  This isn't a good thing; if anything, it's a sign of advancing age, I never did this in my twenties, so what's changed? Am I more active during the day or am I having later nights? I'd attempt to solve this quandary, if it weren't for the fact I'm fighting a slumber battle as we speak; my heavy eyes inspired me to write this in the first place.  A lot of it's to do with comfort and energy. I was watching an episode of Columbo last night, and was about half way in that I started to feel the seductive pull of sleep. I changed channels to catch coverage of Lionel Richie's set at Glastonbury and was instantly fully awake; his energy and commitment cleared the fug from my head; suddenly, 'All Night Long (All Night)' had a completely different meaning. This near-narcolepsy reminds me of when I used to play the guitar at my ...

I didn't really achieve anything today, which is frustrating. As I intimated yesterday, it's strange to suddenly be in a position where I have less to do, in comparison to the mad panic dash that led to last week's shows in Brighton. That's not to say that I don't have things to be getting on with; I just feel a little purposeless compared to how things were in the last few weeks. At least I've managed to do more today than my cat. She has recently taken to sleeping on the chair closest to my living room window, after having been completely indifferent to it in previous months - and today, she's only really moved from it to (1) check on the food situation in the kitchen or (2) to pester me for some of what I'm eating. I know cats sleep more than most other species, but her lack of effort for anything has to be seen to be believed. She'd snore if she could muster up the energy.

I've done nothing of note work-wise today and I feel a bit guilty about it. I have a lot of catching up to do ready for my dates in Brighton next month, but I'm allowed to take it easy occasionally if I see so fit. It's easy to forget that you sometimes need a rest.  Right now, this doesn't seem much of an option, as it's one of the many things I shun, but if I give myself a bit of time doing nothing, I might be more capable of of getting my work done when I'm 'on the case', so to speak. I'm going to have to keep it brief tonight, as I'm literally falling asleep as I write. I genuinely keep catching myself falling under. I'll try to write a little more tomorrow when I'm less zonked. Zonked: now that's a word .

Things sometimes play on my mind at unhelpful times. This morning was a case in point. I woke up far earlier than I'd hoped, with a few niggles that I just couldn’t shake. Before long, I was wound up, both by what I was thinking about and when I was thinking about it; not that I’d made an active decision to mull things over, as my subconscious had made that decision for me. I eventually realised that I wasn’t getting anywhere and I certainly wasn’t going to fall back asleep. There also wasn't a chance of resolving what was on my mind, as this would involve talking to people who weren’t in my bed, and even if they were, it would have been rude to wake them up. I did what I should have done sooner and got up to make some breakfast and say hello to the cat (which isn't a euphemism). I also did something I got into the habit of doing when I was rehearsing my solo show earlier this year and wrote down what I felt needed resolving. This helps me shift from being o...

There was an awkward moment at tonight’s meditation class, when a student fell asleep. We were halfway through a twenty-minute guided meditation when the snoring began. It was only vaguely discernable at first; so much so that initially, it could have gone either way; a small sound or a slightly louder instruction from the teacher might have tipped the balance back from unconsciousness to relaxed concentration. In an alternate dimension, in an identical school hall in a parallel Garden City, this probably happened - but not in the Letchworth of our Universe. Seconds later, the breathing became more obstructed and there was no turning back; the person whose identity was protected from everyone except the teacher, because we had our eyes shut, had tiptoed up the wooden stairs to Bedfordshire (in Herts) to noddy-bye-bye land. What I’m saying is “They'd fallen sleep”. Not that there was anything to be ashamed of. There’s no better sign of being rel...

I finally had an excuse to not wear any trousers in public today when my cat fell asleep on them. It’s good to have an alibi for once. This is the exception that proves the rule. While I’ve wandered the streets of my hometown bottomless countless times with no adequate reason, today it’s through no fault of my own. This is my story and I’ll stick to it, however much the prosecution tries to slander my name. They can look at the evidence above and weep . The cat / trouser situation came to pass within minutes of me taking my jeans out of the tumble dryer. My cat, like all felines, is opportunistic. She doesn’t hang about. No sooner had I folded them up and placed them on the table so I could return to the kitchen to close the dryer door, than she leapt in to action. I turned around to find her already curled into a circle as if she’d been there all along. Half time score: Cat 1, David Nil. She remained there, fast asleep, until I got out o...