mostly david ephgrave

I’m currently sat in near-total darkness, except for the light from my computer screen and a couple of battery-powered lamps, due to what I hope is a power-cut and not the beginning of the end of humanity as we know it, thanks to the collapse of the National Grid. I don’t want to spend the rest of my days swapping sexual favours for tins of expired dog food (the favour being a promise not to have sex with the person in question) so I have sustenance to live; or building a barricade around my flat with our furniture to then take turns on keeping watch with my wife in case some renegade punk with a grudge wants to plunder our shizz (I don’t know what any of that means either). I’m not cut out for a fight for survival: I get out-of-breath walking uphill. If this is Armageddon, my immediate problem is my cat, who’ll probably attempt to eat me if I so much as fall asleep. That’s a risk I’ve faced ever since we got her, to be fair, but it’s far worse when the flat’s pitch-blac...