mostly david ephgrave

Time and again, I tell myself I won’t get sucked into playing hashtag word games on Twitter, and yet I still do. It’s nigh on impossible to not think of at least one appropriate pun when you see the hashtag crop up - usually despite yourself - and once you’ve thought of it, you may as well post it. Then you may as well do another, until before you know it, it’s 4am and you’re still at it; it’s a slippery, sleep-deprived slope to coin an alliterative phrase. They say puns are lazy writing and in many ways that’s true, but that doesn’t make coming up with a good example less satisfying. I imagine that’s the only chink of light in the dull, monotonous grind of a writer of Christmas cracker jokes that makes the rest of their shift bearable; it’s the sole thing that separates the talentless hack from the chip-shop-namer. I just wish I could channel this dubious talent into something more lucrative. Perhaps I could get a job as Tim Vine...

I’ve never one to pass up a hashtag word game on Twitter, least of all when it involves my specialist subject: The Beatles. So tonight, in the interest of having an early night as I’ve got Mostly Comedy to contend with tomorrow, I thought I’d share a few tweets I just dashed off for the trending game #SitcomTheBeatles; there aren’t many of them and they aren’t that special, but at least they keep me off the streets: 10:42PM: 2point4 No One. 10:43PM: Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Raymond. 10:43PM: Frasier Blues. 10:44PM: Mrs Brown's Boys. 10:45PM: Rising Damp (with Eleanor Rigsby) 10:46PM: Only Fools on the Hill and Horses. 10:47PM: Wait(ing for God) 10:49PM: Goodnight (Sweetheart). 10:50PM: Yes it (Min)is(ter). 10:54PM: Steptoe and Sun King. 10:55PM: Are You Being For the Benefit of Mr Kite? 11:00PM: Baby's in Blackadder. ...

While watching that bastion of Saturday night entertainment ‘The National Lottery: In It To Win It’ yesterday, I inadvertently came up with my own joke. A contestant called Anthony was in Dale’s Red Area at the time – no comment – who had to get the following question right to be released: The answer, of course, was Corgi, which gave me a sudden burst of inspiration that led to this:   My God, my synapses were firing last night. This tweet was of note as, despite being a comedian, I don't really write jokes; not in the literal sense, at least. I’ve only written three in the past , which is probably why I’m still relatively unknown (or known only by my relatives). The reason for my zero-to-none gag productivity is simple: I don’t like them. I tire of them very easily. The odd pun or two is fine in its place, but a straightforward joke will more likely provoke a groan from me than a laugh, as it’s too obv...