mostly david ephgrave

 I’d hate to speak too soon, but I think Parr-Reid has Monkman potential. I of course know he’ll never quite meet those dizzy heights, but there’s definitely something about him. It’s the sly look he gives the other contestants when they speak, or the emotionless face he wears every time he gets an answer right; it’s like his victory is par-for-the-course, and means nothing in the wider picture (as my tweets below suggest). Bristol Vs Trinity Oxford 919.222. 8:33PM: To my mind, Roger Tilling is the voice of God. 8:35PM: Hosegood, Hosegood...he's Sam Hosegood. 8:35PM: "Stone 'enge". 8:37PM: Pubey beard, Slicked-back hair, Curly tache. Bowes needs to decide on his look. 8:39PM: Parr-Reid has the shiftiness of a man with a terrible secret. 8:40PM: Parr-Reid has Monkman potential. 8:44PM: Parr-Reid has the air of a Chancellor-era Hitler, secretly planning his dictatorship. 8:48PM...

Tonight’s University Challenge wasn’t an overly gripping affair, although I did enjoy the serious intensity of Oxlade. Everything he said - as I mentioned in a tweet - appeared to be in inverted commas, and it wasn’t so much as if he enjoyed taking part; more that he was driven by some inner urgency to compete, like the world would end if he didn’t answer each question as best he could. The episode was also notable for Howe’s terribly quasi-psychedelic jumper, which looked like it had been knitted (or ‘knat?’) by George Harrison’s mum as an outfit for his trip to Height Asbury. It really truly wasn’t a good look. See below for today’s UC-based Twitter ramblings: Leicester Vs. Fitzwilliam - Cambridge. 8:02PM: Aldred with his egghead. 8:02PM: Howe's jumper is a sensory explosion. 8:03PM: Tindall's severe, Bond villain eyebrows. 8:04PM: Oxlade speaks like he's doing a voice-over, while pulling...

Many people where talking online about how tonight’s University Challenge had a unusually high female contingent compared to the usual mostly white middle-class male contestant fare, but I didn’t notice. Why: because I was being dazzled and perplexed by Ducklin’s psychedelic shirt. It was much the same the last time he was on, when he was sporting another questionable number (not too dissimilar to my vast array of floral shirts), which also caught the nation’s notice; so much so, it has its own spoof Twitter account; proof that whatever you may be thinking at any given point, someone else is probably thinking it too. See below for tonight’s UC-related Tweets; I don’t mention how badly East London were doing until more than two-thirds down. East London Vs. Warwick. 8:01pm: #UniversityChallenge Prediction of the Evening: Jeremy Paxman will be impatient. 8:01pm: #UniversityChallenge Second Prediction of the Evening: some of the c...

Tonight’s instalment of University Challenge was stolen by Glasgow’s Thomson, who was sporting the Look that Fashion Forgot. Glasgow Vs. East London (10.10.16) I sometimes wonder how the programme manages to be so consistent in the contestants it chooses; there’s always as least one person with amusing hair, demeanour or dress sense; you can set your watch by it. I feel guilty for being so merciless when it comes to mocking the people competing, but to be fair, if you choose to look like Thomson, you’re clearly asking for it. He must have had enough notice to get a decent haircut. See below for today’s Twitter UC bitching. I’m sorry for being such a git. 8:02pm: Look at Thomson. LOOK AT HIM. 8:05pm: Ducklin's wearing a Ishihara colour-blindness test. 8:05pm: Jeremy Paxman looks so weary about the whole damn thing. 8:07pm: Thomson's hair is gloriously inconsistent. 8:12pm: Thomson's hair sel...

While I know I probably shouldn’t stoop to this level, every week I find myself switching on University Challenge, and settling down for a spot of low-level Twitter bullying. I know it’s not acceptable to be like this to any group of people, thought that said, it can be a lot of fun. It goes some small way to redress the balance between their high and my slightly lower intellect. Here are today’s tweets. I promise I’m quite a nice chap in person, so don’t judge me. Liverpool Vs. Warwick. 8:02pm: Kurek is channelling the character Harry Enfield used to do in the opening credits of Harry Enfield & Chums. 8:05pm: Van's follicles are so potent, his hair grows while you watch. 8:06pm: Van was created in a laboratory. 8:06pm: Kurek owns a sex dungeon. 8:10pm: Van modelled his look on Sully from Monsters Inc. 8:11pm: Paxman's still rocking that middle-aged woman's hairstyle look. ...

I’m not a bully. To be one is would mean displaying some unpleasant personal traits. While there’s nothing to be gained from being nasty, for some reason University Challenge encourages my worst side. See below for this week’s perhaps unnecessary tweets. 8:04pm: Kitchen, in the kitchen, with the dagger. 8:05pm: The player far left in York's team's name was just a noise. 8:05pm: York's mascot: excessive. 8:06pm: York's mascot: big - or York's team: small? 8:07pm: York's Cole must bring their average of twenty-two up. 8:08pm: Morton's hair gets paler the more you look at it. 8:09pm: Kitchen's hair looks like a cross between a mop and a gouged out Tribble. 8:09pm: Cole's neckline isn't fooling anyone. 8:10pm: Christ's Midha is completely emotionless. 8:11pm: Morton's hair colour faded in the wash. 8:13pm: Witnessing the horrifi...