mostly david ephgrave

This week, I've gone on holiday to Center Parcs – and where better to spend a few days away than in a Butlins for people with middle-class aspirations? This isn’t my first trip to the Dutch version of a holiday camp, though it’s my first time as an adult. It’s good to be back. It’s wonderful to have a few days away, as it’s something we seldom get to do. I kicked the day off by speaking to some ducks (see picture); they weren’t very interested in me. Over lunch, my wife made a ceramic cow vomit milk into a cup (that's not a sentence I thought I’d ever write).   The most enjoyable portion of the day, however, was from 4:00pm to 8:59pm, as we spent this alarmingly precise timeframe making the most of the park’s spa facilities.   Until 4:00pm, I was a spa virgin. I’d been to the odd Spar or two, but they were a lot less relaxing. Weak jokes side, I loved it. It took a little while to get used to my surroundings and get over my self-co...