mostly david ephgrave

I’ve spent most of the day surrounded by bank statements and receipts, trying to pull together my records for my 2013-14 Tax Return. I have six days until the deadline. I like to keep things close to the wire. I’m not worried as I’m nearly there. I’m pretty sure I’ll have it sewn up by Tuesday at the latest. I’ll then submit the figures and pray the God of Self Assessment (a hideous Moira Stuart / Adam Hart-Davis amalgam) is kind to me this year. If he / she isn’t, I’ll sell a few vital organs to cover the cost. Maybe even the Hammond in my garage. If I get a bill, it shouldn’t be too horrific. That's the plus side to a shit financial year. It’s disconcerting to see how many jobs I went up for and didn’t get; so many dates penciled in the diary that didn’t turn to pen. If nothing else, these castings give a lot to claim back on, though in each case, I would have sooner got the gig too. Here’s hoping 2014-15 will be more successful. I st...

A common by-product of self-employment is a wallet full of receipts. These often greatly outweigh the money enclosed; from a distance you'd be fooled into thinking my wallet was stuffed full of cash. If I ever get mugged, my assailant will be sorely disappointed - unless he has a fetish for filing other people’s tax returns. Every couple of days my wallet is full to the brim. At that point, the receipts are transferred to a shoebox - and then promptly forgotten until late January, when my self-assessment deadline is imminent. When it comes to receipts, I’m a bit of an expert. Not that it’s taken long to reach this level; when you’ve seen one, you’ve pretty much seen them all. Until you start shopping at Marks and Spencer, that is. The other day I bought a loaf of bread from my local M&S garage – and despite only buying one item, I was startled by the sheer magnitude of the receipt. 50p for scale. It just kept coming out of the till. I’m su...