mostly david ephgrave

According to Twitter wisdom, twenty-five years ago today, the satirical send up of the media 'The Day Today' first aired on BBC2; a programme that had a huge influence on me as a teenager and I still love to this day. Until recently, I was sure I was introduced to the work of Chris Morris & Steve Coogan et al by a friend from the drama group I used to go to at the Gordon Craig Theatre, when he lent me his copy of the radio version of 'The Day Today' - 'On the Hour' - along with radio episodes of 'Knowing Me Knowing You with Alan Partridge' as a kid. I was absolutely certain of this and would have staked my life on it until I happened to see this friend again when he came to one of my shows a couple of years ago and asserted afterwards that I introduced them to him . Now I don't know what to think: it's as if the very fabric of my existence has been metaphorically ripped at source; that, or I've just got a shit memory. Ultimately it d...

Tonight it dawned on me that we’ve now seen all the candidates for this series of University Challenge, so there’s now no chance of any other amusing characters coming along to spice things up. We now know there’ll be no contender to rival Monkman, or even Bobby Seagull; no-one’s going to steal their throne. In one sense this is annoying and in another, it’s a relief. In a way, I don’t want them ever to be bettered as those are some big shoes to fill; but at the very least it would nice to have someone even gently amusing as, without this, it can get a little tedious. (I clearly watch the show for the wrong reasons). See below for my twitter commentary (as exciting as it is). Strathclyde Vs. Emmanuel Cambridge 8:02PM: Jeremy Paxman is weary with YOU. 8:04PM: Brown had planned that wave for weeks. His worry about this was all-encompassing: would it be a mistake? Should he do it? Shouldn't he? He shouldn't have done it. 8:05PM: Emmanuel's mascot is a...

After a couple of weeks of gentle, less attention-grabbing characters, it was nice to see a few choice classics crop up on tonight’s University Challenge. Firstly, we had the most likely contender for a mass murderer of the series thus far. Then there was the inevitable man-child, whose face has yet to be graced with such a thing as a five o’clock shadow. We also had the smug, yet maladjusted loner who might possibly get in league with the aforementioned murderer if not kept apart by another stock character: the Victorian gent; what makes it worse is, the four people I’ve mentioned were all in the same team (see if you can work out which). See below for tonight’s UC tweets from me: York Vs. Warwick (21.08.17) 8:02PM: de Sousa hasn't been born yet. 8:04PM: Bindler: MURDERER. 8:05PM: Salter is the lovechild of Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and James May. 8:07PM: Bindler wouldn't let you search his lock-u...

This morning, I made a (Eph)grave miscalculation, when I woke up thinking the day would end with a Monkman. I even went so far as to tag some of his bigger fans within my friendship group on Facebook to the effect that today would end with a Monkman. I also Tweeted about the day ending with a Monkman, before suddenly losing faith. ‘Hang on a minute,’ I thought. ‘What if the day doesn’t end with a Monkman? What if he isn't back until next week?’ I checked my sources and lo and behold, I’d got it wrong: today wasn’t set to end with a Monkman at all; not for me and not for the wider general public. The only people to be treated to a Monkman at the end of the day were those who live with him; the rest of us mere mortals have to wait until the final next Monday. Rest assured though: next Monday is Monkmonday. I can’t wait. See below for tonight’s University Challenge Tweets: Edinburgh Vs. Balliol - Oxford (03.04.17) 8:03pm: Boy...

They say the show ain’t over until the fat lady sings, but in the case of this series of University Challenge, it ain’t over until another team winds up facing the wrath of Wolfson Cambridge, AKA Team Monkman. It’s well known how much humour the man can inject into such a potentially dry and joyless show; every small utterance is delivered with comedic gusto, except you know that no writing was involved. He’s an natural in his unnaturalness and a human antidepressant; I laughed nearly every time he spoke. See below for my mostly Monk-themed tweets; there’ll only be more to follow when he returns next week. Emmanuel Cambridge Vs. Wolfson Cambridge (27.03.17) 8:03pm: Monkman: a God Amongst Monkmen. ` 8:04pm: Monkman's made special effort tonight with his hastily scissored fringe. 8:05pm: Monkman has the look of a man who's delighted to be sitting on his spike. 8:07pm: Thomas Moore Moore Moore...how do you ...

The end of the current series of University Challenge is sneaking ever closer and inevitably, the faces of the contestants have grown very familiar. We’ve already dined out on Venkatesh’s keenness that masks a slight murderousness and Clarke’s disdainful venom. That’s not to say we can’t enjoy them again, particularly in the case of the latter; my God, did Clarke have a cob on this evening; even Paxman must have approached her tentatively. See below for tonight’s tweets: Bristol Vs. Corpus Christi - Oxford (23.01.17) 7:33pm: Rolleston's wearing a surprisingly narrow waistcoat. 7:34pm: Venkatesh has a murderous resting face. 7:35pm: There's no substance thicker than the lenses of Fleet's glasses. 7:36pm: With a waistcoat like that, it's no wonder Rolleston will end up teaching history. 7:37pm: Mess with Bristol's Clarke at your peril. 7:38pm: Bristol's Clarke is a woman wit...

Over the last few days I’ve been rediscovering Phil Cornwell and John Sessions’ low-fi filmed-on-a-camcorder BBC2 comedy series Stella Street. I came across the programme when it first aired, thanks to the recommendation of the lead guitarist of my then band. We become friends through a mutual love of Police Squad, which we’d discuss a lot at school, so when he pointed me toward Stella Street, I was likely to enjoy it. The basic premise, if you haven’t seen it, is that a handful of celebrities have moved into a street in Surbiton, and are adapting to a more sedate pedestrian life. Most of the humour comes from seeing these people - who are mostly Hollywood A-listers - in incongruous mundane situations. The famous people are brought to life by just Cornwell and Sessions, who play most of the incidental characters as well. It’s a brave choice which pays off, though filming the series must have been a time-consuming affair, when you consider how many ...

The overriding theme of tonight’s University Challenge for me - as my tweets will vouch for - was SOAS Edwards nauseous looking face. Each time he found the confidence to raise his voice, he almost instantly had to hold back the contents of his stomach. To be fair, when faced with Jeremy Paxman’s trademark impatience, we’d all be the same; just ask any of the politicians he’s left in his post-Newsnight wake. As ever, I gave tonight’s show a running Twitter commentary. Here’s what I said: Durham Vs. SOAS (31.10.16) 8:02pm: Jeremy Paxman: so weary. 8:03pm: Because someone called Cressida WOULD come from Harrogate. 8:04pm: SOAS: Durham's parents. 8:05pm: Guillou has a slight air of shapeshifter about him. 8:06pm: Brophy's hair is thick and luxuriant. 8:07pm: SOAS's Edwards looks like a character played by Matt Smith. 8:08pm: Edwards looks like he's holding back a little sick. ...

While I’m generally pretty mild-mannered and pleasant, this all goes out of the metaphorical window most Monday evenings at 8:00pm. From then until 8:30pm, I can be found skulking about on Twitter, being all Internet troll-like about that week’s University Challenge contestants. Today was no different. See below for this week’s 140-characters-or-fewer nastiness. I’m a nice person, really, when you get to know me. 8:01pm: Jeremy Paxman: so weary. 8:02pm: "Hi I'm Kirkman, and I've subsumed David Mitchell's voice.” 8:06pm: "Hi, I'm Wainwright, and used to be chased around abandoned houses by bandaged mummies, with a dog called Scooby-Doo". 8:07pm: No, not "Kant" in that jacket, Bennett. 'C*nt". 8:08pm: Wainwright's lightbox is giving him a suntan. 8:09pm: If you listen very carefully, you can hear Wainwright's hair grow. 8:12pm: I'd lik...

I’d like to know where Michael Portillo sources his garish blazers. I'll often catch a bit of his BBC2 programme 'Great British Railway Journeys' of an evening, post-Simpsons, and while I find the subject interesting, I’d probably turn to another channel sooner, if it weren’t for the lurid jackets he wears. Their dazzling effervescent nature lures you in, like a crustacean hypnotized by the bioluminescence of an anglerfish’s ‘light’. No sooner have you adjusted to a blazer / trouser combination (salmon / yellow) than another outfit bursts forth (turquoise / red). He’s a Tory test card.  I have to say I quite like him, political leanings notwithstanding. I have to say it, because he’s holding a gun to my head. He snuck up on me, which is surprising considering his taste in clothing. I once spotted him in the audience at a performance of 'We Will Rock You', but then, how could I not?