mostly david ephgrave

Today I shared a chocolate orange with Sarah Graham . It was an emotional experience.  I was grateful for her assistance. I have an unnerving habit of eating them in one sitting. It's not a side of myself I'm proud of. Until now, it was a dirty secret. By getting this out in the open, I hope to be released from it. It's time I satiated my Chocolate Orange Demon.  (That's not a euphemism).  I didn't buy the Chocolate Orange myself. My mum gave it to me, to thank me for walking her dog. It's a fair swap. Does it count as payment? If so, do I have to declare it? I wasn't aware of the minefield it represents. While I ate most of it, I felt less guilty for not  ingesting every segment. I also made Sarah a cup of tea using Doggett & Ephgrave's undersized kettle. You can only boil a mug's-worth at a time. Once switched on, it can't be switched off. If you plug it in when it's empty, it's a potential deathtap. At least it mak...

Where would we be without instructions? I had no idea that I was making tea incorrectly. I didn't know about these three simple steps. Think of all the people I have made a cup for in the past; each one quietly seething as they pretended to sip politely.     I didn't know you had to yank the drawstring out at such a jaunty angle, while holding the teabag like a magician doing a card trick. There's definitely some sort of conjuring involved. The string has split in the middle. How is it staying taut? It must be done with magnets.  I'm not sure why you have to hold your hand in a pincer shape while waiting for the tea to brew. Isn't this irrelevant? It looks like one of those claw-cranes you get in amusement arcades.    The illustration peters out before it reaches the arm. Why? They've already drawn the difficult bit.     It must be very hard to pour water in a forked formation (though it would save time when mak...