mostly david ephgrave

While watching that bastion of Saturday night entertainment ‘The National Lottery: In It To Win It’ yesterday, I inadvertently came up with my own joke. A contestant called Anthony was in Dale’s Red Area at the time – no comment – who had to get the following question right to be released: The answer, of course, was Corgi, which gave me a sudden burst of inspiration that led to this:   My God, my synapses were firing last night. This tweet was of note as, despite being a comedian, I don't really write jokes; not in the literal sense, at least. I’ve only written three in the past , which is probably why I’m still relatively unknown (or known only by my relatives). The reason for my zero-to-none gag productivity is simple: I don’t like them. I tire of them very easily. The odd pun or two is fine in its place, but a straightforward joke will more likely provoke a groan from me than a laugh, as it’s too obv...

Nothing terrifies me more than the collective ignorance of the general public – and this is seldom more evident than during a mainstream television game show. A particular favourite of mine is the National Lottery’s ‘In it To Win it’: a programme that is best watched from behind your fingers. I didn't have much of an opinion on Dale Winton until I watched him present it. Now he has my utmost respect; the patience he displays when confronted by the dregs of the population is nothing short of astounding. A few months ago he asked a contestant “Which famous ‘Buzz’ was part of the crew of the 1969 moon-landing?”. The woman looked blankly at him and answered “Buzz Lightyear.” It was the dismissive shrug she gave when Winton told her it was Buzz Aldrin that upset me most; she might as well have said “Why the Hell should I know that?”   A typical excuse that’s often given is “That was before my time”. That’s bullshit. The dinosaurs were extinct millions of years before th...