mostly david ephgrave

I’m of the opinion that people who have a sticker in their car’s rear window that says ‘Powered by Fairy Dust’, shouldn’t be allowed to join the AA. This isn’t my only caveat. My ruling also applies if you display it in any other window, or anywhere else on the bodywork. It’s also not just the AA that you should be banned from, but the RAC, Green Flag or any other company that supplies car insurance. Basically, you shouldn’t be allowed on the road. I understand that people sometimes want their vehicles to reflect a little of their personality. They’d like their Astra, Micra, Corsa or Polo to stand out from the rest. They also want to show their fellow road users that they have a sense of humour; that they’re ‘crazy’, ‘quirky’ and ‘FUN’. By displaying the words ‘Powered by Fairy Dust’, or some other inane slogan, you only end up achieving the opposite. It’s like writing an email in comic sans or wearing a novelty tie; it’s almost nev...

There’s a continuity announcer on BBC1 at the moment that really gets on my tits. His sole purpose is to clearly segue one programme into the next – but he's never let such a small detail hold him back. Each link sounds like he’s emptied a bag of marbles into his mouth just prior to broadcast and is determined to not let any fall out. His voice has the timbre of a man recovering from intense dental work. He becomes more incomprehensible with every passing link – and once you’ve tuned into his strange enunciation it's very hard to tune out. It’s like a one-man mission to deliver each sentence as you’d least expect it. To be fair, other channels often have it much worse. Tune into BBC Three of an evening, for example, and the links are more than likely voiced by someone with suitably yoof credentials, but absolutely no idea of where to put the stresses in any given sentence. It’s as if they just picked someone up off the street, thrust a microphone into their ...