mostly david ephgrave

I had a small flash of inspiration this morning regarding this blog and how to reframe my writer's block. As someone with a tradition for self-judgement, my recent dropoff from posting regular content here has been a source of genuine frustration. When I started this blog eight years ago, the intention was to find a way through my depression by giving myself a daily deadline, with one eye on the metaphorical rearview mirror at writing standup material too. For that first twelve months, I never missed a day, and while plenty of my posts were flawed, there was still a sense of a forward trajectory and improvement (in both my writing ability and my mood). Retrospectively, I'd say my expectations were too punishing. What had started as a motivational tool quickly became another reason to flay myself if I didn't keep up my productivity. Consequently, I'd be up late at night trying to finish blogs that were going nowhere due to tiredness and frustration. And while this daily ...

I’m in the midst of what I’d best describe as a writer’s block when it comes to stand-up at the moment. Try as I might, I just don’t seem to be getting anything done. I have lots of blogs I’m considering developing into material, but what’s stopping me, I think, is that I’m just not feeling funny, or at least, I haven’t got the spark of energy that usually comes from being inspired to see an idea through because you’re genuinely amused with it. A lot of this is to do with a few imminent deadlines, which are making me try double-hard to finish things, but more for the sake of being able to move on than it being naturally complete; it’s all forced with one eye on the clock, which is the worst way to do anything creative; I really wouldn’t recommend it. I’m not sure what to do really, other than give myself a break for a few days, so I can return to it with fresh ears. The problem is, I don’t really have the luxury of that time at the moment. ...

I’ve got into the habit of writing my blog too late in the day recently, which can leave me disappointed with the results. The process has certainly changed over the years. When I first started it as an exercise to improve my writing ability (with the hope it would be a springboard for stand-up material), it would take up a lot of my time each day. It just so happened I wasn’t working much at that point, so I was able to devote the time to covered topics in more detail, while perhaps agonizing too much over getting the content as tightly composed as possible. As with anything you stick with, it can veer in and out of being easy and / or fun. Once I’d got a few months into writing every day, there were times when it would loom like a weight over my head if I hadn’t yet posted something. I was particularly strict with being daily for the first year, which was an achievement that teetered on an obsession, and a self-imposed pressure that could sometim...