Will You Still Kneed Me?


At the risk of sounding like an old man, my knee’s been playing up for the past few weeks.

It’s something I’ve suffered from on and off for a few years that’s become markedly worse in recent months. I’ve seen a chiropractor regularly since I slipped a disk in my back thirteen years ago (unlucky for me) so I’m fully aware problems like this often stem from compensating for an injury elsewhere in the body, but whatever the cause, it's reached the point where walking can be painful and kneeling down's a near impossibility; I couldn’t join with an NFL protest if I wanted to.

At my last chiropractor appointment, he suggested I have it x-rayed, as my problem joint - I call him Mr Right - feels and moves differently to my left, so it’s worth ruling out the possibility of the early stages of arthritis. He said my GP would probably be reticent to do this - he was correct - but at it would be good to get the issue on record at least. The GP recommended pain killers and wearing a support initially (which I’ve bought and haven’t worn yet as it’s a little too tight / I'm a wuss) but I may book an x-ray with my chiropractor anyway, because I’m a stubborn git.

Is this the stage of life I’m at now? Am I already at the beginning of a physical decline? There’s always something; if it’s not my knee, it’s my shoulder or my back. How many joints do I need replaced before I qualify as a bionic man? I really must Google this.

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Image
Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...
Read more

Hoo-ray and up She Rises.

So much has happened since my last post in March that this blog risks sounding like an itinerary. The main news is that Hitchin Mostly Comedy will return in the summer at a new venue, the Queen Mother Theatre . The road to this decision was convoluted, though enough fell into place en route to leave me optimistic about this new start. The catalyst was a survey I ran via our mailing list a few months back, in which I asked, "If the club returned in the current climate, with tickets still around £15 (and with similar line-ups), would you still attend?"; the response to which, in simple terms, was a resounding yes. Nearly 250 mailing list subscribers responded in a single week, with around a hundred also taking the option to leave some feedback. And only two people were abusive, which counts as a win when you consider they posted their comments online anonymously. Imagine how many more insults we would have received if the comedy club was a woman. Particularly if she was Diane ...
Read more