'GBBO 2017: Week Ten' (31.10.17)

Like many people across the UK, I spoilered myself in the wake of Prue Leith’s accidental Twitter announcement of the winner of this year’s Bake Off this morning in advance of tonight’s broadcast, rather than watch it in ignorance, when so many of the nation (my wife included) already knew the outcome.

To be fair to myself, I didn’t actually look it up, instead letting my wife tell me when she got home from work, as I didn’t like the thought of her knowing and me not while we watched it together; I in fact predicted who it was and was instantly disappointed, as I’ve not been able to warm to Sophie, what with her cold tone and her know-it-all way. I may have misheard it, but I could have sworn I heard her describe baking as “a calling”, which could have caused me to vomit up a limb; I don’t know how anyone could use terminology like that without a hint of irony.

First off, here are a couple of tweets I fired off in response to today's accidental BBC message:

3:10PM: How long before Prue reveals there's a tunnel behind the poster of Raquel Welch in the Shawshank Redemption?

3:11PM: If Prue reveals what happens at the end of Stranger Things before I see it, I'll be livid.

 ...and here's what I said during tonight's show. You'll be tested on the content.  

7:58PM: "I wonder who'll win tonight's Bake Off?" (Say the handful of people who haven't looked.)

8:00PM: Perhaps they did a hasty re-edit of the ending, to take into account today's events?

8:00PM: Oh, don't go changing the hashtag Channel 4.

8:04PM: Sophie says she hates bread, without taking into account the wit of Carla Lane's writing / David Gates' voice (choose punchline)

8:06PM: It's like knowing Bruce Willis was dead in advance.

8:08PM: I wish I had a sob story about baking

8:10PM: Tying a loaf of Warburton's into a Windsor knot is one of my party pieces.

8:12PM: "Right, let's get these babies in the oven." I wouldn't trust Steven with my kids.

8:12PM: "I'm going to whip them out with a minute to go." Kate trying to influence Paul Hollywood's vote.

8:18PM: *Checking Prue's Twitter account for next year's winner*

8:20PM: I do like my bread tense. I like it wired.

8:24PM: Sophie's got such a warm, cuddly (and not at all competitive) personality and a lovely voice. (Said someone else)

8:28PM: There can't be many things more stressful than piping lace onto biscuits (are words I never thought I'd say).

8:31PM: But how well will they do on the Physical Challenge?

8:40PM: Steven's Yin-Yang is a sneaky Yan tribute.

8:50PM: I want a hug from Sandi, damn it.

8:57PM: The lighter of the two balls on Steven's Yin-Yang cake looks like the Death Star.

9:01PM: I bet Prue tweeted before the recording was even finished.

9:09PM: Mary Berry, smoking a dog-end in the car park, muttering under her breath.