GBBO 2017: Week Six (03.10.17)


Tonight’s Bake Off was undoubtedly emotional; particularly when Sandi Tokvig welled up while telling Julia she was next to leave the tent.

If I could choose anyone to evict and then console me, it would be Toksvig. I’ve had a soft spot for her since I was an avid (or David) fan of Call My Bluff as a child; not only is her wit is razor-sharp, she also has a very warm soul, which we keep seeing evidence of when she looks after Liam so maternally. It was clear from her tears tonight that she had a soft spot for Julia too, and I for one can’t blame her, as she's one of the most entertaining people in the tent; both funny and sweet in equal measure.

While I’m fond of Julia, it was pretty clear she’d be the one to go tonight, thanks to an unlucky run of bakes. It’s a shame to see her go; I’ll miss her accent the most, for its fabulous mix of Russian and English. It had shades of Elena from Peep Show to it, which is a sweeping generalization as she’s part-Ukrainian, but you can blame my racist ears.

See below for tonight’s GBBO tweets; I should find a hobby, really:

8:04PM: There's always one contestant I can't warm to each year; I won't tell you who it is this time around. 

(*cough* Sophie *cough*)

8:06PM: Please, someone make a Steve Marriott-themed Humble Pie pie.

8:06PM: I. Love. Yan.

8:08PM: I'll firm up YOUR bottom.

8:09PM: Sophie's battling moisture problems. Sophie should buy a Karcher Window Vac.

8:12PM: Someone make a π pie.

8:14PM: Surely Kate should be making a Macca Wild Honey Pie.

8:21PM: Sophie's got just the right sauce level, apparently.


8:23PM: Paul thought Kate's pastry John Lennon was Jesus Christ, finally proving John's bigger than Jesus.

8:25PM: I knew a Portuguese tart once. INSERT PUNCHLINE HERE.

8:32PM: People in the tent who I love a bit: 

Yan, 
Julia, 
Liam, 
Sandi Toksvig. 

People in the tent I lust over: 

Paul Hollywood (obviously).

8:36PM: Yan, rocking the custard tarts there.

8:46PM: YOU'RE too thin at the base.

8:48PM: This programme does nothing for my stress levels.

8:55PM: I can't watch #GBBO without my Lorazepam at arm's reach.

8:57PM: It's been a long time since anyone syringed off my juices.

9:01PM: Yan, helping everyone out. Yan's the best.

9:04PM: Yan's looks amazing. Yan for Prime Minister.

9:12PM: Sandi being so lovely at the end; I LOVE SANDI TOKSVIG.

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Image
Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...
Read more

Hoo-ray and up She Rises.

So much has happened since my last post in March that this blog risks sounding like an itinerary. The main news is that Hitchin Mostly Comedy will return in the summer at a new venue, the Queen Mother Theatre . The road to this decision was convoluted, though enough fell into place en route to leave me optimistic about this new start. The catalyst was a survey I ran via our mailing list a few months back, in which I asked, "If the club returned in the current climate, with tickets still around £15 (and with similar line-ups), would you still attend?"; the response to which, in simple terms, was a resounding yes. Nearly 250 mailing list subscribers responded in a single week, with around a hundred also taking the option to leave some feedback. And only two people were abusive, which counts as a win when you consider they posted their comments online anonymously. Imagine how many more insults we would have received if the comedy club was a woman. Particularly if she was Diane ...
Read more