Monday, 2 October 2017

Late Night Mumbles.

I should go to bed really, and yet I'm still up. 

I have a habit of generally staying up later than I should, irrespective of how tired I may have been during the day. There's something about the quiet, relaxed nature of the night, that often feels more easy to be present in than the day. Time feels different and I often feel more comfortable, certainly than I ever do first thing in the morning. 

A lot of it probably comes from the lifestyle that goes with my work, where you'll often find yourself travelling back from somewhere late, and then feeling the need to sit back with a cup of tea when you get home, to unwind after your day. I guess things are a little more static now than they were when I was more actively touring, and I prefer being home to being on the road, but it definitely instilled in me this feeling that I fit more comfortably into the evening and beyond. I'm more of a night person; not in the sense of being out late; more because it's a time when I feel a tiny bit more human and normal than in the day. 

Admittedly, I'd sooner be going to bed now than writing this if I'm honest, but I also know that if I don't see this through, I'll set my unreasonable standards-and-expectations alarm off if I don't at least put a few words down on a page. This is the downside of telling yourself you need to write a blog almost daily: anytime you don't do it seems to undercut and undermine the many, many times you have. Not only am I more of a night person, I'm also my own worst critic. There's the contradiction: I feel happier in my skin past a certain hour, yet unhappy that I haven't worked hard therefore feeling the need to fill the time I often enjoy the most with work of a sort; I'm a dick. Still, I think I can let myself go to bed now, having written a few words...and get this: it's not actually that late. Sorry: rambling. 

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