Monday, 16 October 2017

'University Challenged 2017/18: Week Thirteen (16.10.17)

If there was anyone riding roughshod over tonight’s University Challenge, it was the gloriously try-hard McDougall, who did everything in his power to convince everyone that he was interesting and, dare I say it, “HIP”.

Everything about the man (child) was an affectation, from his velvet scarf draped across his slhoulders to his stupid stupid hair - and yet, despite having painted himself as the picture of obscure intelligence, somehow lacked the energy to put up a fight when it came too the scores. But his hair though; his bloody, bloody hair.

Here are my tweets for the night. 

Corpus Christi - Cambridge ve St Anne's - Oxtord.

  1. 8:02PM: Krol: the name that isn't a name.
  3. 8:03PM: "Hi, I'm Tristan Roberts...and I've inhaled five canisters of helium before this recording".
  5. 8:04PM: That McDougall's a card, isn't he? Well, something that begins with a C anyway.
  7. 8:07PM: McDougall must hammer home he's artistic. He's a modern-day Syd Barrett. He even lives in Cambs. His scarf is velvet.
  9. 8:09PM: McDougall's so nonchalant, he won't tie his scarf to protect his neck from the draught. The draught knows to avoid him. 
  11. 8:10PM: McDougall: twinned with affectation.
  13. 8:12PM: McDougall's the love child of Russell Brand and Oscar Wilde. In his head.
  15. 8:12PM: I knew I'd seen McDougall somewhere before.

8:13PM: Squinty thinky McDougall. Squinty thinky dicky McDougall.

8:17PM: If John Thomson's Fast Show scientist slept with Dave Hairy Biker & Dave had a womb, Roberts would pop out in 9 months.

8:21PM: Chandramohan's jumper is a glorious explosion of colour that makes her head the feature.

8:22PM: McDougall likes to fop. He really likes to fop. McDougall likes to foppy fop... McDOUGALL IS A COCK.

8:23PM: McDougall makes me angry in a way I can't explain or rationalise.

8:26PM: Imagine McDougall buying Frosties at a Tesco self-service checkout, hoping no-one spots he isn't shopping on Mill Road.

8:27PM: You can pick up McDougall's stereotypical #UniversityChallenge
contestant costume at all good fancy dress shops.

8:28PM: contestant costume at all good fancy dress shops.

8:29PM: That fecking scarf though.

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