'Strictly Come Tweeting" 2017: Week Five (14.10.17)


The question on everyone in my household-bar-the-cat’s lips during tonight’s Strictly was, “Did Bruno say ‘fuck’?”

It was after the first dance of the evening, between Debbie McGee and Giovanni Pernice, that the supposed f-bomb came up. I’ve since watched Bruno’s feedback again and can confirm he actually said “Faff”, but it’s no wonder I questioned it at the time, as he’s been known to let the odd bit of fruity language slip live on air; I’m only thankful it wasn’t the c-word, or the Daily Mail would have been livid.

Outside of Tonioli’s near cuss, there were some excellent routines, but one stood out above the lot for me and that was Susan Calman’s quickstep to Bring Me Sunshine; she shot around the dance-floor with her beloved partner Kevin and never showed such pace and did an exceptional job; her improvement over the past few weeks is nothing short of miraculous; it goes to show what you can do with a mix of application and a strong role-model.

6:47PM: Tess' dress was slashed at by a puma.

6:48PM: Why do they persist with this awkward "Judges coming on dancing" thing?

6:50PM: The name Davood Ghadami is best sung to the tune of Radio Ga Ga.

6:52PM: I love the way Giovanni says Debbie.

6:53PM: But he'll have gel on his hand now.

6:57PM: Did Bruno just say fuck? Did he? Did he say fuck though? If the Tess Daly doesn't apologise soon, I'm rescinding my TV licence.

7:00PM: Re. Bruno's f-word, are they adopting the whole "if no-one mentions it, it didn't happen" approach? Like a war crime...

7:02PM: Brian Conley channelling Tim Curry; as Franke-N-furter, not Pennywise.

7:07PM: But Bruno said a swear though. BRUNO SAID A SWEAR.

7:10PM: That chat between Tess and Frankie from The Saturdays was probably more than she ever spoke to her when she took part herself.

7:25PM: I only watch each week for Tess and Claudia's comedy skit.

7:27PM: Was Charlotte drying her nail varnish then?

7:31PM: On the plus side, at least it's another week without Piers Morgan.

7:43PM: Was the mask at the back during Ruth and Anton's dance Harvey Weinstein's rescinded BAFTA?

7:48PM: Aston's Troll hair and his real hair: little between them.

7:49PM: Mr Blue Sky on speed.

7:51PM: Top marks for the Mr Blue Sky song edit.

7:54PM: Aston and Janette danced to ELO's Mr Blue Sky; Darcey and Shirley played the Evil Woman.

7:58PM: Simon Rimmer's channelling Black Lace.

7:59PM: I pray to God no-one ever makes me dance to Copacabana in my life.

8:06PM: Aljaž has stolen my #Strictly-watching outfit.

8:15PM: That was great...but she didn't do the the classic Proud Mary move; I want my money back.

8:18PM: Well, Alexandra's a tough act to follow. 

8:22PM: They're getting their money's worth from the timpani this week.

8:34PM: But did Bruno swear though?

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Image
Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...
Read more

Hoo-ray and up She Rises.

So much has happened since my last post in March that this blog risks sounding like an itinerary. The main news is that Hitchin Mostly Comedy will return in the summer at a new venue, the Queen Mother Theatre . The road to this decision was convoluted, though enough fell into place en route to leave me optimistic about this new start. The catalyst was a survey I ran via our mailing list a few months back, in which I asked, "If the club returned in the current climate, with tickets still around £15 (and with similar line-ups), would you still attend?"; the response to which, in simple terms, was a resounding yes. Nearly 250 mailing list subscribers responded in a single week, with around a hundred also taking the option to leave some feedback. And only two people were abusive, which counts as a win when you consider they posted their comments online anonymously. Imagine how many more insults we would have received if the comedy club was a woman. Particularly if she was Diane ...
Read more