Falling Behind.
Much of my time
seems to be taken up with the admin around my forthcoming work-in-progress
dates and my recently confirmed return to Edinburgh this Summer,
with little-to-no time spent on the actual content, which is something I'd like to
fix soon.
Tomorrow seems as
good a time to start as any, as for once I’ve actually got the whole day free.
Okay, there are other things I need to do too - I haven’t sent out press
releases for my Leicester Comedy Festival show that takes place in a few weeks, which is
leaving it pretty late - but at some point, I need to focus fully on writing,
as I want to put something together I’m proud of to rival what I did last
year, which had its faults, but was still a leap ahead on from my first show '...and Ephgrave'.
A lot of it is
psychology. I told myself a few weeks ago that I wanted to make sure I’d at
least broken the back of my work-in-progress set in time for my Leicester show,
so even though I won’t be performing any of the new stuff then, I’d know I was
on my way. This is very much a self-imposed arbitrary deadline, but I’d still
like to meet it to some degree. It’s all about taking the pressure off for
later. That’s always my approach to things, though it sometimes means I do too
much now, and that ‘now’ rolls on and on and I never relax.
It’s always admin
that gets in the way. It’s very tiresome. I long for the day when I don’t have
to do everything; if other people were investing in what I do, it would feel
less punishing. Social media doesn’t help; it’s easy to scroll through
Twitter and Facebook and think everyone’s more well-adjusted, happy and
successful and you’ve fallen way behind. Whenever I feel like this, a lyric from
the Paul McCartney song Alligator sticks in my mind: “Everybody’s busy doing
better than me.”
I know what you
mean, Macca. I know what you mean.