Strictly Come Tweeting: Week Four (15.10.16)


I nearly didn’t tweet along with tonight’s episode of Strictly - I thought I’d show a little decorum - and yet, there I was just after 6:30pm, phone in hand, primed and ready.

It’s still a shame to not have Will Young competing anymore, as he was good and had a lovely temperament that was easy to like. Still, we have the memories; his tango to Let’s Dance in week one in particular. I hope he’s well and on the path of recovery.

Nevertheless, see below for this week’s moaning; I should really get a proper job.

6:34pm: Tess couldn't find anything to wear, so she bought a roll of tinfoil.

6:36pm: Louise Reddress.

6:38pm: The triangular neckline of Tess' dress would fit into the neckline of Claudia's dress. Just sayin'.

6:39pm: Olly Murs has a face I can't remember.

6:42pm: When I say I'm going to my shimmy shack, my friends and relatives know not to disturb me.

6:43pm: Len's feedback, for the past twelve years: "You came out...".

6:45pm: I just said out loud, that I like Darcy's make-up. I've changed.

6:48pm: Singing the terms & conditions this evening, the Be Sharps.

6:49pm: I don't trust Laura. There's something lurking beneath the surface.

6:53pm: I'm busy down below. I'm known for it.

6:59pm: Rumbra Streisand.

7:00pm: Anastacia's lipstick makes it look like she's been eating a blackjack.

7:01pm: Tess is humourless, hence the dress.

7:03pm: Pop Tess in the oven, gas mark six, twenty minutes.

7:04pm: AJ is so young, he hasn't reached the egg yet.

7:14pm: Tess has heard of comedy before, but doesn't understand it.

7:16pm: I never thought I'd see Ed Balls mincing on prime-time TV, ever.

7:20pm: I'm bored of them giving Ed Balls all of the comedy routines. Give him something ballroom-based.

7:26pm: Finally, a trident on television Jeremy Corbyn would be proud of.

7:26pm: Naga & Pasha's routine is my favourite so far.

7:33pm: Whoever's operating the camera on the crane has just been given their P45.

7:50pm: Daisy and Aljaž look like they're dancing inside the circle of candles the guy from Ally McBeal puts out in Ghostbusters II.

7:51pm: Bruno would have sex with a fence.

7:54pm: Tess Daly couldn't care less (whisper).

7:57pm: Judge Rinder & Oksana's routine is giving me an acid flashback.

8:05pm: Lesley Joseph has more energy at seventy than I have at thirty-five.

8:13pm: Ore Oduba makes going down the stairs look exceptionally exciting.

8:16pm: I do miss Will Young though. He was fun, funny and good.

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Image
Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...
Read more

Comedy That's Worth a Letch.

Today, I nipped to Letchworth to meet with illustrator (and one-time - two-time - comedy poet) Mushybees, to discuss an event Mostly Comedy will act as surrogate parents to as part of Letchworth’s Arts Takeover in a couple of weeks. Months ago he got into contact to see if we’d be up for co-organising a comedy stage as part of Letchworth’s weekend of arts-based attractions in July; something I’d provisionally said yes to, before things got hectic in the lead-up to Edinburgh and we didn’t take it any further. Despite not getting down to the nitty-gritty straight away, we managed to pull a line-up together in a back-and-forth of emails yesterday, leading to me getting Glyn’s blessing and us deciding we’d officially go ahead with it (whatever ‘officially’ means in this context). In reality, it’s not complicated: from 12pm until 6pm-ish on the 22 nd July, Glyn, Mushybees and I will host four Edinburgh previews from four acts (including me), before Nor...
Read more