I nearly didn’t tweet along with tonight’s episode of Strictly - I thought I’d show a little decorum - and yet, there I was just after 6:30pm, phone in hand, primed and ready.
It’s still a shame to not have Will Young competing anymore, as he was good and had a lovely temperament that was easy to like. Still, we have the memories; his tango to Let’s Dance in week one in particular. I hope he’s well and on the path of recovery.
Nevertheless, see below for this week’s moaning; I should really get a proper job.
6:34pm: Tess couldn't find anything to wear, so she bought a roll of tinfoil.
6:36pm: Louise Reddress.
6:38pm: The triangular neckline of Tess' dress would fit into the neckline of Claudia's dress. Just sayin'.
6:39pm: Olly Murs has a face I can't remember.
6:42pm: When I say I'm going to my shimmy shack, my friends and relatives know not to disturb me.
6:43pm: Len's feedback, for the past twelve years: "You came out...".
6:45pm: I just said out loud, that I like Darcy's make-up. I've changed.
6:48pm: Singing the terms & conditions this evening, the Be Sharps.
6:49pm: I don't trust Laura. There's something lurking beneath the surface.
6:53pm: I'm busy down below. I'm known for it.
6:59pm: Rumbra Streisand.
7:00pm: Anastacia's lipstick makes it look like she's been eating a blackjack.
7:01pm: Tess is humourless, hence the dress.
7:03pm: Pop Tess in the oven, gas mark six, twenty minutes.
7:04pm: AJ is so young, he hasn't reached the egg yet.
7:14pm: Tess has heard of comedy before, but doesn't understand it.
7:16pm: I never thought I'd see Ed Balls mincing on prime-time TV, ever.
7:20pm: I'm bored of them giving Ed Balls all of the comedy routines. Give him something ballroom-based.
7:26pm: Finally, a trident on television Jeremy Corbyn would be proud of.
7:26pm: Naga & Pasha's routine is my favourite so far.
7:33pm: Whoever's operating the camera on the crane has just been given their P45.
7:50pm: Daisy and Aljaž look like they're dancing inside the circle of candles the guy from Ally McBeal puts out in Ghostbusters II.
7:51pm: Bruno would have sex with a fence.
7:54pm: Tess Daly couldn't care less (whisper).
7:57pm: Judge Rinder & Oksana's routine is giving me an acid flashback.
8:05pm: Lesley Joseph has more energy at seventy than I have at thirty-five.
8:13pm: Ore Oduba makes going down the stairs look exceptionally exciting.
8:16pm: I do miss Will Young though. He was fun, funny and good.