'Strictly Come Tweeting 2016' (24.09.16)

I didn’t tweet along to yesterday’s Strictly Come Dancing, as I was watching Jaws 2 at the cinema – that old excuse – but tonight, I was BACK.

While I didn’t see yesterday’s show live, I watched it this morning, and while there was some good performances in it (I hate to say it, as he gets under my skin, but Ore Oduba was pretty sound), nothing grabbed me particularly. That wasn’t the case tonight, when there was a lot of potential on display; Louise, Daisy and Will spring to mind. Even Ed Balls did a good job, and not what I expected; I hope he gets to stay for a few weeks to give him a chance to improve, and isn’t given a raft of ‘amusing’ dances, to (1) be entertaining and (2) to get rid of him.

Below, you’ll find this evening’s tweets. Hopefully, they’ll make sense out of context.

6:32pm: Tonight, I'll be keeping a tally of how often Len Goodman says, "You came out."

6:32pm: Cue the on-beat handclapping.

6:33pm: Judge Rinder: my favourite dating app.

6:34pm: My wife, the moment she saw the two children ballroom dancing: "Revolting".

6:36pm: Tess Daly needs a sincerity chip fitted.

6:38pm: Sorry, Tess, but if you were to do nothing but "eat, sleep and breathe dance" YOU'D DIE.

6:41pm: Tess' "But no-one's leaving tonight" sounded like a threat.

6:42pm: Why didn't they make Louise dance on the Mary Rose?

6:44pm: Are the lyrics "You've gotta jump, jive and then you willy?"

6:45pm: How could Louise dance like that? She's a 'mega-mum'.

6:46pm: They should make Louise dance to that Eternal classic.......................erm?

6:49pm: It's like Ed Balls walked into the wrong room and now he can't exit.

6:51pm: My favourite #Strictly professional is Janette Manrarararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararaarararara.

6:52pm: Melvin's trousers will be burnt into my retina for the rest of the series.

6:54pm: I forgot the hips once. I felt to a pile on the floor.

6:57pm: So that's where the member of Black Lace who went to prison's shirt went.

7:11pm: None of tonight's routines are a patch on @davidduchovny's line-dancing in the recent X-Files series.

7:18pm: Tameka's song choice reminds me of being on holiday in the 1980s.

7:23pm: I love Will Young, but in his training videos, he appears to be wearing every outfit ever, all at once.

7:24pm: In the silence after Tess' "Cha-Cha-Changing of the Guards" joke, you could hear a hairpin drop.

7:26pm: The table in Anastacia and Brendan's routine was a little incongruous. A little like Ed Balls.

7:31pm: Ed Ballsroom.

7:34pm: To his credit, Ed Balls didn't do too badly.

7:38pm: I wish Ed Balls had worn that sparkly outfit in parliament.

7:38pm: AJ hasn't been born yet.

7:43pm: On Monday, AJ does his SATS.

7:45pm: Bruno's like Keith Moon's 'Fiddle About' character in Tommy.

7:50pm: Will Young's a splendid chap.

7:52pm: I had a Czech mate once.

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

"Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Shine."

Tonight saw the second instalment of BBC1’s latest advertise-a-musical-for-months-and-then-cast-it-with-performers-too-inexperienced-to-do-it-a-thon ‘Let it S̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Shine’ (or as I call it: ‘REAL AUDITIONS ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS’). I didn’t watch it (clearly), but being reminded of how angry seeing just five minutes of it made me last week caused me to mull over what I would call a musical based on the band’s songbook, if I was responsible for it. Here are a my suggestions: IDEAS FOR TITLE OF A TAKE THAT MUSICAL: Barlow! Dirty Fat-Dancing Orange! A Million Love-changes-everything Songs Owen! Howard's End Pray Misérables Mamma Marka! Babe (with a pig as the lead) …BUT MY FAVOURITE HAS TO BE: Jason & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. "It was Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange..." (TAKE) THAT’S ENOUGH OF (TAKE) THAT.

Comedy That's Worth a Letch.

Today, I nipped to Letchworth to meet with illustrator (and one-time - two-time - comedy poet) Mushybees, to discuss an event Mostly Comedy will act as surrogate parents to as part of Letchworth’s Arts Takeover in a couple of weeks. Months ago he got into contact to see if we’d be up for co-organising a comedy stage as part of Letchworth’s weekend of arts-based attractions in July; something I’d provisionally said yes to, before things got hectic in the lead-up to Edinburgh and we didn’t take it any further. Despite not getting down to the nitty-gritty straight away, we managed to pull a line-up together in a back-and-forth of emails yesterday, leading to me getting Glyn’s blessing and us deciding we’d officially go ahead with it (whatever ‘officially’ means in this context). In reality, it’s not complicated: from 12pm until 6pm-ish on the 22 nd July, Glyn, Mushybees and I will host four Edinburgh previews from four acts (including me), before Nor...

mostly david ephgrave

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