'Strictly Come Tweeting 2016' (24.09.16)

I didn’t tweet along to yesterday’s Strictly Come Dancing, as I was watching Jaws 2 at the cinema – that old excuse – but tonight, I was BACK.

While I didn’t see yesterday’s show live, I watched it this morning, and while there was some good performances in it (I hate to say it, as he gets under my skin, but Ore Oduba was pretty sound), nothing grabbed me particularly. That wasn’t the case tonight, when there was a lot of potential on display; Louise, Daisy and Will spring to mind. Even Ed Balls did a good job, and not what I expected; I hope he gets to stay for a few weeks to give him a chance to improve, and isn’t given a raft of ‘amusing’ dances, to (1) be entertaining and (2) to get rid of him.

Below, you’ll find this evening’s tweets. Hopefully, they’ll make sense out of context.

6:32pm: Tonight, I'll be keeping a tally of how often Len Goodman says, "You came out."

6:32pm: Cue the on-beat handclapping.

6:33pm: Judge Rinder: my favourite dating app.

6:34pm: My wife, the moment she saw the two children ballroom dancing: "Revolting".

6:36pm: Tess Daly needs a sincerity chip fitted.

6:38pm: Sorry, Tess, but if you were to do nothing but "eat, sleep and breathe dance" YOU'D DIE.

6:41pm: Tess' "But no-one's leaving tonight" sounded like a threat.

6:42pm: Why didn't they make Louise dance on the Mary Rose?

6:44pm: Are the lyrics "You've gotta jump, jive and then you willy?"

6:45pm: How could Louise dance like that? She's a 'mega-mum'.

6:46pm: They should make Louise dance to that Eternal classic.......................erm?

6:49pm: It's like Ed Balls walked into the wrong room and now he can't exit.

6:51pm: My favourite #Strictly professional is Janette Manrarararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararaarararara.

6:52pm: Melvin's trousers will be burnt into my retina for the rest of the series.

6:54pm: I forgot the hips once. I felt to a pile on the floor.

6:57pm: So that's where the member of Black Lace who went to prison's shirt went.

7:11pm: None of tonight's routines are a patch on @davidduchovny's line-dancing in the recent X-Files series.

7:18pm: Tameka's song choice reminds me of being on holiday in the 1980s.

7:23pm: I love Will Young, but in his training videos, he appears to be wearing every outfit ever, all at once.

7:24pm: In the silence after Tess' "Cha-Cha-Changing of the Guards" joke, you could hear a hairpin drop.

7:26pm: The table in Anastacia and Brendan's routine was a little incongruous. A little like Ed Balls.

7:31pm: Ed Ballsroom.

7:34pm: To his credit, Ed Balls didn't do too badly.

7:38pm: I wish Ed Balls had worn that sparkly outfit in parliament.

7:38pm: AJ hasn't been born yet.

7:43pm: On Monday, AJ does his SATS.

7:45pm: Bruno's like Keith Moon's 'Fiddle About' character in Tommy.

7:50pm: Will Young's a splendid chap.

7:52pm: I had a Czech mate once.

Shakerpuppetmaker.

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