GBBO 2016: Volume Four (21.9.16)

The Great British Bake off has been through the mire of gossip, assumption and controversy over the past few days, what with it changing channel for 2016, that just watching the programme itself today was a little anti-climactic. It was what it was and it is what it is: a lowish budget baking show, with a lot of charm and gentle humour – and a soon-to-be sayonara from the low-key, unintimidating Mel and Sue at the helm.

Today’s show was mostly about savoury baking. See below for this week’s adventures, as according to my Twitter posts.

8:03pm: A little heads-up to the people at Love Productions: WE'RE AVAILABLE.

8:06pm: Perhaps C4 can change the format to a Big Brother / Bake Off hybrid: "GB-BB-BO". (I'm fully aware that BB is now on C5).

8:07pm: Val's husband doesn't exist.

8:15:pm: Only Selasi could make crackling sound sexy.

8:5pm: Aunt Bessie would be furious.

8:20pm: Just think how much better the camera work on these Yorkshire puddings would be for an extra £25million.

8:22pm: Kate nods to Paul in agreement, when inwardly she wants to STAB HIM IN THE GULLET.

8:24pm: Was it just me, or did Candice's Yorkshires look a bit like a lady's 'part'

8:26pm: Will an extra £25million stretch to buying Paul a pair of cufflinks?

8:29pm`; Paul will blow his increased C4 fee on a roomful of Remington MB4045 Beard Trimmers.

8:30pm: `Lace pancakes with only one practise run? Paul Hollywood, you GIT.

8:32pm Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky pancakey bakey heart.

I bet Selasi's good at poker.

8.$$pm *picturing Paul Hollywood in lacey pancake lingerie."

8:44pm: Val would carry on narrating if no-one was listening.

8:49pm: If Selasi looked at me, I'd apologise instantly.

8:50pm: *Selasi and Paul Hollywood, kissing.*

8:52pm: Controversial idea for the Government: put Selasi in charge of EVERYTHING.

8:56pm: Kate's rabbits look more like Christian fish.

8:56pm: It seems my wife's and my swearing at Kate technique paid off.