Skip to main content

GBBO: Volume Five (21.09.16)


Today's was another cracker of a Bake Off, with more than enough to keep me interested; let’s face it: any programme with cakes in it will have me hooked to the screen. 

See below for today’s unnecessary Twitter #GBBO bitching. I’ve tried to keep myself reigned in enough that it doesn’t become too controversial:

 
8:02pm: "A Danish classic": Sandi Toksvig.

8:03pm: Val: you may be outside, but could you use your inside voice, please?

8:07pm: "I'm bashing it out while my dough rests". Too easy.

8:15pm: The mixers, when their beaters are up, remind me a little of the creatures in Alien.


Don't I know you?
8:18pm: Val's "a bit soft in the middle."

8:23pm: Paul Hollywood's grey shirt complements his salt-and-pepper hair perfectly.

8:26pm: Bakewell tart or Bakewell pudding? The people of Derbyshire will be KICKING OFF.

8:30pm: My favourite Top of the Pops dancing troupe were Frangipane's People.

8:31pm: I don't want to think about Val "Fanning it".

8:33pm: Selasi looks like he's about to nut someone.

8:35pm: Uh-oh, Val. UH-OH.

8:39pm: Selasi doesn't need an oven: he just stares at the foodstuff in question and it BAKES.

8:40pm: Jane's got a thatched head.

8:43pm: Candice needs a bit more sausage.

8:44pm: Candice's black pudding has a shade of Derek Smalls about it.

8:46pm: Jane's got a tribble on her head.

8:48pm: Val's unhinged.

8:49pm> I wouldn't trust Val with a cutlery drawer.

8:53pm: "It's not an appropriate gift for a man approaching fifty; it's too big."

8:53pm: Val's about to go on a killing spree.

8:54pm: I bet Paul sidled up to Candice in the hotel bar post-recording.

8:57pm: Bye Val. Leave the knives in the drawer, please.

8:59pm: Next week: Herbie Goes Bread.
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Not The Bayeux One.

The Carole King album Tapestry has been my 'getting-ready-in-the-morning' soundtrack for the past few weeks.  It's been a favourite album ever since I was a student, which makes for a pleasantly gentle way to usher in the start of a day. I've always been a fan of a well-crafted song, which is something of a Carole King hallmark, ever since she started writing with her first husband in the early Sixties. Tapestry may be an unimaginative choice for a favourite LP, as it suggests I haven't delved that far into her career, but it's still an undoubted classic; anything with '(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman', 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' and 'You've Got A Friend' on it can't really fail; if nothing else, it proves she likes writing songs with long titles.  Next month, she's set to perform the album live in its entirety for the first time at a gig in Hyde Park, which I would have loved to have gone to, if it weren...
Read more

Hitchin is Mine.

As of six o’clock tonight, I take over the Hitchin is Yours Twitter account for a week; a stewardship I’m anxious to get right. I’m proud of my hometown. It’s a great place to live, with so much going for it. I've always sold it to my non-Hitchinite friends; so much so, that a lot have gone on to move here. Any town expansion plans are partly my fault. Feel free to picket outside my house. I love its history and architecture. Take St Mary’s Church, for example. The building is beautiful inside and out, and huge for a town of our size. There has been a place of worship on site since the 7 th Century. Much of the present building dates from the 1300s. You wouldn't get that in America. (Don't forget the British Schools Museum too.)  Hitchin is a hive for creative people and a hub for the arts. It boast two theatres, two comedy clubs, a couple of art galleries, a festival for world music and a thriving music scene. This drew...
Read more

'Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream..."

While I’ve been practising meditation for quite some time now, I’ve recently taken to using the mindfulness app 'Headspace' . If you’ve never meditated before, or you’re an old hand at it, it’s a great resource, offering daily ten-minute guided meditations that create a sense of progress, rather than stagnating and going through the same process every day. Until I started using the app, I’d often listen to a handful of audio guided meditations I have on my phone in case of a brain emergency. If you see me with my eyes closed and my earphones in on public transport, I’m probably doing this (unless I’m sleeping and using this blog as an elaborate alibi). While the tracks on my phone are great, they can get a little repetitive as I become too familiar with them and start to anticipate everything the person on the recording will say. This is where Headspace is great, as it offers you a daily course with a different focus each day, as well as pl...
Read more