GBBO: Volume Five (21.09.16)


Today's was another cracker of a Bake Off, with more than enough to keep me interested; let’s face it: any programme with cakes in it will have me hooked to the screen. 

See below for today’s unnecessary Twitter #GBBO bitching. I’ve tried to keep myself reigned in enough that it doesn’t become too controversial:

 
8:02pm: "A Danish classic": Sandi Toksvig.

8:03pm: Val: you may be outside, but could you use your inside voice, please?

8:07pm: "I'm bashing it out while my dough rests". Too easy.

8:15pm: The mixers, when their beaters are up, remind me a little of the creatures in Alien.


Don't I know you?
8:18pm: Val's "a bit soft in the middle."

8:23pm: Paul Hollywood's grey shirt complements his salt-and-pepper hair perfectly.

8:26pm: Bakewell tart or Bakewell pudding? The people of Derbyshire will be KICKING OFF.

8:30pm: My favourite Top of the Pops dancing troupe were Frangipane's People.

8:31pm: I don't want to think about Val "Fanning it".

8:33pm: Selasi looks like he's about to nut someone.

8:35pm: Uh-oh, Val. UH-OH.

8:39pm: Selasi doesn't need an oven: he just stares at the foodstuff in question and it BAKES.

8:40pm: Jane's got a thatched head.

8:43pm: Candice needs a bit more sausage.

8:44pm: Candice's black pudding has a shade of Derek Smalls about it.

8:46pm: Jane's got a tribble on her head.

8:48pm: Val's unhinged.

8:49pm> I wouldn't trust Val with a cutlery drawer.

8:53pm: "It's not an appropriate gift for a man approaching fifty; it's too big."

8:53pm: Val's about to go on a killing spree.

8:54pm: I bet Paul sidled up to Candice in the hotel bar post-recording.

8:57pm: Bye Val. Leave the knives in the drawer, please.

8:59pm: Next week: Herbie Goes Bread.

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