The Joker.
I have an
annoying habit of playing for laughs in social situations.
I did it a couple
of times in my meditation class tonight. It wasn’t anything big – I didn’t
launch into a stand-up routine or any Norman Wisdom-style pratfalls
– but I still found time to slip the odd joke into our group discussion and pull faces
at an opportune moments; call me Phil Cool. No, seriously…CALL ME IT.
I guess it’s just
my way and I shouldn’t judge it too much, but I find it particularly irritating when
I do it when I’m not feeling my best. Sometimes you don’t want to be outwardly
jovial, but for me it’s like a reflex – and as I do it, like tonight, a voice
inside my head says, “I bet everyone here thinks I’m a dick”.
Hopefully that
voice is my saving grace, and the fact that I’m questioning whether people are
being irritated by me stops me from becoming too tiresome myself. Though at least if
I am getting on everyone else’s
nerves, we’re all in agreement; no-one can be more annoyed by me than me. I'm throwing down the gauntlet with that one.