Gong Off.


I hate the self-congratulatory nature of the Oscars and award ceremonies in general.

Perhaps I'm being miserable or jealous, but I don’t think it’s necessary, particularly in the world of entertainment. I think actors are celebrated and raised on a pedestal enough, especially at the high end of their industry. Switch on BBC Breakfast of a morning or Graham Norton of an evening and their respective sofas will be bursting with performers hyperbolizing about the strenuous emotional journeys they took to bring a characterization to the stage or screen. They’ll act like they’ve stumbled across the cure for cancer or the secret to time-travel, while the interviewer laps it up. Giving an actor the chance to discuss the agony of their craft is like showing a rag to a bull. I know because I’m one of them.

(An actor and not cattle, though there's very little difference.)

Don't get me wrong. Film, television and theatre has its place. We all need to escape the humdrum now and then. But there are scores of people doing more vital jobs than standing in front of a camera or on a stage delivering lines and having their egos stroked over the fallout. Even within the same industry: a writer or an animator has a far harder slog than a person who’s fed, watered, carried to the set in a sedan chair and then paid handsomely into the bargain, yet these are the things the Oscar or BAFTA TV coverage will neglect. No-one’s interested in a scruffy author when they can see an actress looking pretty in a dress.

I could be being grumpy as it’s only just gone 9am. I clearly wouldn't turn down the opportunity to lift a gong myself (*furtively Googles for the nearest gong shop*). I know I'm a hypocrite. There are also plenty of people who deserve it. Whatever the reason for my five paragraph outburst, I’d prefer it if the morning headlines reflected the important issues in the world instead of an auditorium chock-full of the rich and cosseted. The cameras are pointing the wrong way. I once saw a well-known Oscar-winner sum up being cast as “Sometimes the role chooses you”. The expletive that exploded from my mouth could be heard on Pluto.

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