As I hid from the
Edinburgh rain in my digs tonight with just two shows left to go, I found
myself pondering whether it's all been worth it.
I mean this
pragmatically. I’m not likely to lose sleep over it as I know the way
it goes, but it’s at this stage that I can’t help but wonder whether putting so
much energy and focus into the Fringe ever pays off. It’s genuinely
been my priority all year - as it was in many ways in the two or three years
that proceeded it, and to a lesser extent the years that passed since
Doggett & Ephgrave were up here too - and yet, unless you have a top production team
actively promoting you, it doesn’t matter how much good work you do, you’re
still likely to sink without a trace.
One thing’s for
certain, I tried something very different to my previous output this year and
tackled some difficult subjects along the way, and I’d like to think I came out
with a more rounded show than the other three as a result. Strangely, this made
for a much more relaxed low-key performance than usual, which
also felt right. I think the songs were key as they softened the
edges, while also giving the material more depth.
Having said that,
it was definitely my most difficult show to date to write, though this was
largely due to my state of mind; that and having to come up with something new
for the fourth year running when I wasn't firing on all cylinders.
The sticking
point is that from a business point of view, it doesn’t matter how good your
show is, if the right people don’t come to see it (and the right people only
come to see it if you have an agent or production company fighting your corner) you may as well be somewhere else. Even my punter numbers were
down this year, though I always knew I’d be slightly scuppered by the bad time
slot, though this was the best I could get in any venue of note.
I’ve already
written about how press attention is too taken up with the shows already likely
to sell out from acts more likely to drive clickbait. Every day I walk past
posters covered in star-rating review slips, and yet I only had a single
review, which completely missed the point while also stating things as fact
that were incorrect or I just didn’t do.
At least I had my
inclusion in a couple of best jokes lists, which was encouraging, though I
would have also loved a nice four-star rating too, even though I know it’s
ultimately all arbitrary. Thank God it’s all nearly over. The question is
whether next year I'm likely to come back.
