Skip to main content

Baaed Company.


Anyone with enough expendable income to spend £258 on a statue of a sheep clearly has more money than sense.




These two woolly women have silently regarded me with their emotionless eyes from a shop window in my home town for a good few months. Unsurprisingly they’ve yet to be snapped up. Maybe they're display models and there’s a stockroom (or flockroom?) round the back full of fibreglass sheep, like a Terracotta Army protecting One Man and His Dog.

Using them as window-dressing is pretty optimistic. Were they hoping to provoke an impulse buy? There can’t be many people in Hitchin with the best part of three hundred quid a burning a hole in their pocket that are looking to buy a merino sheep-substitute; it’s just too niche. You’d be better off buying the real thing; there are nine of them going on Gumtree for just $70 (£43) each, or $550 (£337) for the lot, though you’d have to ship (sheep?) them over from Australia. If you want to see them first, they’ll have to text you the photographs as they won’t load on the seller’s computer.



...though be sure to leave a mess:



...as they're clearly worth the effort.

(Aren't we all?)


What puzzles me the most is the statues come in two varieties: one grazing and one looking up - and the one with the bowed head costs £6 less. If anything, I’d expect it to be the other way round; at least with the cheaper one you'd forgo the humiliation of being looked in the eye by a faux ewe judging you for spunking your money on it. I bet they’re popular in Wales.



Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...
Read more