Baaed Company.

Anyone with enough expendable income to spend £258 on a statue of a sheep clearly has more money than sense.

These two woolly women have silently regarded me with their emotionless eyes from a shop window in my home town for a good few months. Unsurprisingly they’ve yet to be snapped up. Maybe they're display models and there’s a stockroom (or flockroom?) round the back full of fibreglass sheep, like a Terracotta Army protecting One Man and His Dog.

Using them as window-dressing is pretty optimistic. Were they hoping to provoke an impulse buy? There can’t be many people in Hitchin with the best part of three hundred quid a burning a hole in their pocket that are looking to buy a merino sheep-substitute; it’s just too niche. You’d be better off buying the real thing; there are nine of them going on Gumtree for just $70 (£43) each, or $550 (£337) for the lot, though you’d have to ship (sheep?) them over from Australia. If you want to see them first, they’ll have to text you the photographs as they won’t load on the seller’s computer.

...though be sure to leave a mess:

...as they're clearly worth the effort.

(Aren't we all?)

What puzzles me the most is the statues come in two varieties: one grazing and one looking up - and the one with the bowed head costs £6 less. If anything, I’d expect it to be the other way round; at least with the cheaper one you'd forgo the humiliation of being looked in the eye by a faux ewe judging you for spunking your money on it. I bet they’re popular in Wales.