Sunday, 24 September 2017

Strictly Come Tweeting 2017: Week Two (23.09.17)

Last night saw this year’s Team Strictly’s first routines of the series, and while there was no audience vote and therefore no threat of losing a couple, it still gave a reasonable idea of where things may go.

The obvious stand-out of the show was Debbie McGee, whose Paso was stupidly good for her first dance, not to mention for someone of her age (let’s be clear: of any age). The judges were unanimous in their praise, which was only right, putting her at the top of the first leader-board - until JLS’s Aston Merrygold closed the show with a foxtrot which left them salivating, but didn’t really do it for me (though I liked Janette’s outfit). 

But don’t let me being quoted in last night's Telegraph write-up fool you: despite five years' performance training, I know nothing about dance.

See below for my tweets on the show (because they need to be preserved for future generations):

6:28PM: Ah, the speeding-up, on-beat clapping; got to be the #Strictly opening credits.
6:33PM: AJ Pritchard can't be up late tonight, as he's got his mock SATS exams on Monday.
6:34PM: "Singer and theatre star...": irritating.
6:34PM: Still at the point where I can't remember which ones are the celebrities.
6:36PM: First #Strictly affair of the series? PLACE YOUR BETS.
6:38PM: Five seconds into Gemma and Aljaž's routine and already two hair-flicks.
6:39PM: Aljaž is wearing my nan's net curtains.
6:40PM: It's time for Bruno's tablet.
6:48PM: "The Splaying of the Hand": my favourite horror film.
6:51PM: The judges just inadvertently gave out my PIN.
6:52PM: "Alexandra Burke has already been a leading lady..."; written in her contract by her agent?
6:55PM: Tess and Alexandra stage an insincere cry-off.
6:57PM: ...if she sings Hallelujah, I'm going out.
6:58PM: (I thought it was nice though.)
6:59PM: I've got a family too.
7:03PM: It looked like Simon had Karen on a retractable tape measure just then.
7:12PM: Can't they read out some kind of warning before they put Piers Morgan on screen?
7:27PM: Don't say his footwork is wooden...don't say his footwork is wooden...
7:30PM: I'm an attentive partner too, Darcey.
7:31PM: They should put Bruno on some kind of register.
7:34PM: Tess Daly's mouth: where humour goes to die.
7:37PM: Do they beam Tess in like a hologram?
7:53PM: What a cracking first dance from Debbie.
8:02PM: Davood's shirt was made from the netting from the inside of a pair of shorts.
8:09PM: HERE'S A BIT OF FUN: try to fit the theme from Black Beauty in-between the timpani while the judges give their scores.
8:23PM: There's milk in the fridge that's older than AJ.
8:31PM: My dad drove an Aston Merrygold in the Eighties.
8:34PM: I hope JLS condoms don't split as easily as the band did.

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