Strictly Come Tweeting 2017: Week Three (30.09.17)

It's fair to say tonight’s Strictly further cemented my love of Debbie McGee.

Not only is she genuinely lovely (as I can vouch from her visit to Mostly Comedy with her late husband Paul Daniels a few years back) she’s also a brilliant performer, with so much energy, ability and sparkle. It helped that she was dancing to one of my favourite Billy Joel songs, She's Always a Woman, and the routine matched the beauty of the song perfectly, but then it’s not as if she needs the assistance; I hope she remains in the competition for a good few weeks to come so we can enjoy more of her versatility.

Outside of Debbie’s dance, I didn’t really feel tonight’s show so much, though it’s fair to say Alexandra Burke knocked her routine out of the metaphorical park. I also liked Jonnie Peacock’s dance to Johnny B Goode, though I only just noticed the reason for the song choice; I’m a little slow at times...unlike him.

See below for tonight’s tweets:

6:48PM: One thing's certain: when you have an audience made from the general public & live music there'll be on-beat handclapping aplenty.

6:51PM: Tess' trouser/dress mash-up is the clothing equivalent to a cut-and-shut Vauxhall Cavalier sold by a shifty backalley car dealer.

6:54PM: The gratuitous shots of the box of #Strictly cereal during Chizzy's foxtrot is a typical example of BBC product placement.

7:02PM: Aston Merrygold is a village in Essex.

7:05PM: All that keeping hold of Janette while throwing her about was done with magnets.

7:06PM: Stupid beard though.

7:11PM: If I was doing this routine, I'd have stayed in the dock.

7:15PM: Please don't cut to Piers Morgan...please don't cut to Piers Morgan...

7:18PM: Charlotte Hawkins' dress was the glitter sash curtain from Bullseye in a former life.

7:25PM: *Cue a coming-out-of-the-closet joke*

7:27PM: The use of the wardrobe during Joe's routine is the perfect cue for a judge "You came out.." comment.

7:37PM: Bruno Tonioli is fitted with an electronic tag and has a 10pm curfew to keep him in check.

7:39PM: Well, I thought Brian Conley was great.

7:42PM: When Gemma and Aljaž's routine started, I was worried they didn't realise they were facing the wrong way.

7:47PM: Craig Revel Horwood's hair tonight is a bit 'There's Something About Mary'.

7:52PM: The Reverend Richard Coles is the best thing for the Church of England since Henry VIII.

8:02PM: Eamonn Holmes' left hand meeting his right across his waist is similar to the Keymaster meeting the Gatekeeper in Ghostbusters.

8:04PM: When Liverpool play Everton, it's more a case of You'll Never Walk Again.

8:09PM: I've got sperm older than AJ.

8:11PM: "The lights are on, but you're not home": the perfect burglar deterrent.

8:19PM: The length of Oti's legs is an immeasurable distance.

8:23PM: Bruno is filthier than Keith Moon's Uncle Ernie.

8:28PM: Debbie's Viennese Waltz to She's Always a Woman; beautiful song, beautiful routine.

8:35PM: Well, I've never seen anyone dressed like that in Stevenage library.

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...

Comedy That's Worth a Letch.

Today, I nipped to Letchworth to meet with illustrator (and one-time - two-time - comedy poet) Mushybees, to discuss an event Mostly Comedy will act as surrogate parents to as part of Letchworth’s Arts Takeover in a couple of weeks. Months ago he got into contact to see if we’d be up for co-organising a comedy stage as part of Letchworth’s weekend of arts-based attractions in July; something I’d provisionally said yes to, before things got hectic in the lead-up to Edinburgh and we didn’t take it any further. Despite not getting down to the nitty-gritty straight away, we managed to pull a line-up together in a back-and-forth of emails yesterday, leading to me getting Glyn’s blessing and us deciding we’d officially go ahead with it (whatever ‘officially’ means in this context). In reality, it’s not complicated: from 12pm until 6pm-ish on the 22 nd July, Glyn, Mushybees and I will host four Edinburgh previews from four acts (including me), before Nor...

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