'University Challenged: Episode Twenty-Seven (20.03.17)

Unfortunately, I’ve missed the last few episodes of University Challenge due to a hectic schedule (correction: I just happened to have a string of gigs on Mondays), so in many ways, I feel like I’ve fallen out of the loop.

The biggest disaster of all thanks to this was missing an extra performance from this year’s internet sensation, the truly wonderful Monkman. The chap is as puzzlement even to himself, though he should at least rest assured that he’s the epitome of the sort of person you expect to see on television’s most socially awkward quiz show; the man expels so much nervous energy for me to worry he will burst.

Still, what we lost from no Monkman was counteracted nicely by the presence of Goldman, who’s like a robot when it comes to answering questions, while seemingly deriving no pleasure from it. His joyless tone was my main focus on Twitter tonight, though my comments weren’t appreciated by everyone; it’s not like I sought him out personally and emailed him what I felt; some people take things to seriously.

There's nothing quite like a jerk period.

See below for tonight’s as-it-happens Twitter rundown of the show.

8:03pm: No Monkman. Pointless.

8:04pm: Freddie Potts and his Lego hair.

8:04pm: Pope thinks he's ruddy Lovejoy.

8:05pm: Goldman answers each question without an ounce of warmth or enjoyment.

8:06pm: The pattern on Goldman's shirt came about thanks to an unfortunate incident with a biro.

8:09pm: Imagine Goldman imparting bad news: "Your wife has died". Barren.

8:10pm: A hug from Goldman would be functional yet emotionless.

8:11pm: Goldman pulls off the legs of insects.

8:14pm: I'm taking on "Corpus Christi Venkatesh" as a celebratory exclamation.

8:15pm: Fleet looks like Angelos Epithemiou post-shave.

8:16pm: Pope would straddle a chair whilst leading a meeting.

8:17pm: Johnson wouldn't look out of place playing bass in Kenickie.

8:17pm: Did Paxman just say "Farrrk"?

8:18pm: Baliol's Potts' hair doubles as a cycle helmet.

8:19pm: I subscribe to a magazine called Repeated Cleavage.

8:20pm: Venkatesh is as likeable as Goldman isn't.

8:22pm: Goldman traps animals, slaughters and then performs taxidermy on them.

8:24pm: Pope listens to Robert Palmer at full pelt.

8:26pm: Johnson seems angered by his own knowledge.

8:28pm: Potts looks like a pre-grey Father Ted.

8:29pm: Vienna means nothing to me.