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Never More Than Six Foot from an Elvis.


Watching last night’s episode of Eggheads reminded me that often the only prerequisite to being an Elvis impersonator is looking nothing like Elvis.



It was an unlikely source for such a prompt. I never expected a game show that revolves around a stark, unforgivingly competitive format to raise this point. It usually only leaves me pondering whether Barry is a latter-day Ronnie Barker character or Chris is Danny Baker’s dad. While I was surprised that Eggheads brought up the thorny faux-Presley issue, I was pleased that they did it so succinctly. It only took one shot of that four-man line-up to remind me of everything Elvis wasn’t. The guy second from right looks more like Shakin’ Stevens. The one in the middle appears to be doing a poo.

If there’s a subject I'm entitled to an opinion on, it’s this. I’ve spent a large percentage of my life on stage with fake Elvii. Playing him is a thankless task. He’s such an iconic one-of-a-kind it’s almost impossible to get a handle on him. You have to be youthful (which most impersonators aren’t), good-looking, have exceptional stage presence, move with great fluidity and be able to capture that hugely distinctive voice. Few people have the whole package. That’s why he was The King.

For me, playing Buddy Holly was comparatively a walk in the park. All I had to do was learn the lyrics and guitar parts, play them at the right tempo, stick on a pair of horn-rims and I was done. There’s so little footage of Buddy in existence that you’re free to make your own decisions. People are more likely to have seen someone pretending to be Buddy Holly than having ever seen the real thing, hence all that irritating, over-accentuated hiccupping impersonators often do.

The best Elvis impersonation I ever saw was A.J. Dean in Rock ‘n’ Roll Heaven. He's a friend though, so I may be biased. A.J. has rock & roll in his DNA (abbreviation-tastic), looks the part both off-stage and on – and above all, doesn’t take it too seriously. People forget Elvis was funny. A.J. gets that. He also isn’t middle-aged, which is a bonus.

Apparently, Damien Edwards’ Vegas Elvis in Elvis: The Musical was amazing. I never got to see it, but if his Roy Orbison is anything to go by, it would have been spot-on. Similarly, Kludo White does a mean Eddie Cochran

(I’m just bigging up my friends now, really.)

If I ever go on Mastermind, I'll make Elvis Impersonators my specialist subject. With my back-history, I’d probably clean up.

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