Money, Money, Money

I have a debt no-one wants to lay claim to.

One of the downsides to being self-employed is a fluctuating income. Earnings can differ hugely from one year to the next, or even from week to week. The best - and worst - aspect of this is you never quite know what’s around the corner financially. Things can change, for good or for bad, at any moment.

Like many others in my situation, this often leads to taking out a loan or a credit card, to act as a buffer when times are hard. If things don’t pick up, or take a downward turn, you end up behind on your payments.

This is what happened to me. I’m not massively in arrears, but it’s enough to be unable to settle at the moment. For quite some time, I was tied to a repayment plan I couldn’t maintain and felt unable to express this to my creditors. Then, thanks to excellent free advice from the debt charity Step Change, I’m currently in the process of sorting a timetable that will keep the banks happy without leaving me penniless.

Or at least I would, if I could find out who is holding my account. I’ve spent all morning on the phone to various banks and recovery agencies, trying to find out who’s handling it. Nobody seems to know. Here I am, desperately trying to pay it off, yet no-one wants my money.

Hopefully, a job will come in soon that will turn my situation around. It would only take the one. If I’d got any of the countless adverts I’ve been penciled for in the past twelve months, I’d be back on my feet. Sometimes, being an actor is bullshit.

If you’re having financial difficulties, visit www.stepchange.org. They’re excellent.

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...

mostly david ephgrave

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