Breakaway Blinds and Breaks Away.


Yesterday was a day off in name only really, as I had lots to do, but it was cherished nevertheless, what with coming at a time when my energy was starting to wane.

It didn’t begin well. It began with pain, when I opened the venetian blind in my bedroom on waking up to have it collapse on my head. Thankfully my cat-like reflexes came to play pretty quickly, with me managing to both move out of the way of its downward trajectory as much as possible while also catching it, which would have looked impressive if anyone had seen it, but I’ll never know if they did as they would have to have been in the building opposite and feel the need to stop me on the street to compliment me on my blind-catching prowess, which is pretty unlikely, but I live in hope.

I won’t mince words, by the way: it was fucking heavy. It was also not exactly the gentle warm-up into my only day off that I'd hoped for, not least because it meant I had to get in touch with the letting agents to see if they’d be able to come and fix it as I couldn’t do it by myself; I sent them an email with photos of the aforementioned kamikaze blind and the fittings it came lose from attached, to make the job doubly clear. Once I’d done that, I took a taxi to an industrial unit on the other side of town (because I know how to enjoy myself) to return the projector stand I’d hired earlier this week to replace my broken one, which has since gone to the Great Audio-Visual-related Products Retirement Home in the Sky (or a landfill bin on Cowgate to be more precise).

On returning to the digs, I gave the lettings company a call as they hadn’t answered my email, and arranged for them to come and fix the blind in the afternoon; conveniently at the same time I had an interview scheduled with the student radio station Fresh Air FM at the Pleasance, thus saving me the awkwardness of being in while they did it; I’ll do anything to avoid awkward human-interaction.

I had arranged to meet my PR’s assistant Amber in the Pleasance Courtyard ten minutes before the interview was due to start; this being the first time we’d met. We quickly popped to the bar (where I ordered the first Irn-Bru of my life on her suggestion; she said she was practically surviving on it at the moment) before going to the studio. On arriving, we met the DJ, Sam, who told us the station’s live feed wasn’t working, something I had suspected was the case when I’d tried to listen to it over breakfast to no avail; trust the radio station to not be broadcasting on the day I was there. Instead we recorded an interview for their podcast, which was fun, before I said goodbye to Amber (who told me she’d had to stifle her laughter during the interview, which I took to be a good sign) and quickly sped to the Underbelly Med Quad to watch Tom Goodliffe’s excellent show Coffee Run, though I found myself trapped next to a guy in the audience who was manspreading to the extent that he nearly put my neck out.

Today saw me back on the Fringe treadmill with my show at midday, though I have to admit I felt refreshed from a day away (although I could have done with another one). Unfortunately, I only had two people in, which had the potential to be truly tooth-pulling if it weren’t for the fact that they were clearly having a good time. The venue’s tech manager sat in too, which helped, but it was still a lot of energy to expend for a tiny audience. That said, I still gave it my best, as you should never chastise the people who’ve taken the trouble to come to your show for the people who haven’t. Hopefully, the rest of the week will pick up from here on in (and I don’t have any more run-ins with my bedroom blinds if I’m lucky).

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