Strictly Come Tweeting: Week Seven (05.11.16)


Another week of Strictly went by tonight, though there was no theme of sorts, with Halloween a thing of the past and Blackpool still a few weeks away.

The standard was exceptionally high, but this didn’t stop me from passing my usual armchair critique on Twitter; see below for tonight’s running commentary (and judge for yourself how it reads out of context.)

6:57pm: If Tess Daly writes a book about her #Strictly years, she should call it 'Phoning it in'.

7:02pm: ...because playing pool helps you learn to dance.

7:03pm: Little Richard; not a euphemism

7:13pm: (Pertinent choice of music, what with her being called Daisy and everything.)

7:19pm: Fascinated by the cheek-line of Ore's beard.

7:21pm: Ore & Joanne's routine is like Wham! on an acid trip.

7:24pm: Joanne's dress looks like a camp Neapolitan ice-cream.

7:27pm: The moment someone's poppy falls off, I'm phoning the Daily Mail.

7:29pm: Ed Beatballes.

7:34pm: Laura and Giovanni are totally doing it.

7:36pm: Watching Giovanni, experiencing suit envy.

7:40pm: Darcy enjoyed Giovanni's end: [INSERT EUPHEMISTIC PUNCHLINE HERE].

7:44pm: I'll never know for sure, but I imagine the pain experienced watching Tess Daly do comedy is akin to going through childbirth.

7:46pm: Someone give Tess a sincerity shot, please.

7:50pm: Judge Rinder. Bless 'im.

7:53pm: Tonight's #Strictly is like a hair-extension ponytail showdown.

7:54pm: Louise and Kevin's routine: bloody marvellous.

7:55pm: Tess Daly is like a shit myna bird.

7:56pm: I smell tens.

7:59pm: Louise and Kevin work extraordinary well together (though Kevin seems to work well with everyone he's partnered with).

8:01pm: By stepping on it mid-routine, Natalie made that chaise-longue tax deductible

8:03pm: Bruno recently changed his medication.

8:06pm: Greg's dressed as a snooker player.

8:06pm: It's AJ's birthday today. He's twelve.

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