Another week of Strictly went by tonight, though there was no theme of sorts, with Halloween a thing of the past and Blackpool still a few weeks away.
The standard was exceptionally high, but this didn’t stop me from passing my usual armchair critique on Twitter; see below for tonight’s running commentary (and judge for yourself how it reads out of context.)
6:57pm: If Tess Daly writes a book about her #Strictly years, she should call it 'Phoning it in'.7:02pm: ...because playing pool helps you learn to dance.7:03pm: Little Richard; not a euphemism7:13pm: (Pertinent choice of music, what with her being called Daisy and everything.)7:19pm: Fascinated by the cheek-line of Ore's beard.7:21pm: Ore & Joanne's routine is like Wham! on an acid trip.7:24pm: Joanne's dress looks like a camp Neapolitan ice-cream.7:27pm: The moment someone's poppy falls off, I'm phoning the Daily Mail.7:29pm: Ed Beatballes.7:34pm: Laura and Giovanni are totally doing it.7:36pm: Watching Giovanni, experiencing suit envy.7:40pm: Darcy enjoyed Giovanni's end: [INSERT EUPHEMISTIC PUNCHLINE HERE].7:44pm: I'll never know for sure, but I imagine the pain experienced watching Tess Daly do comedy is akin to going through childbirth.7:46pm: Someone give Tess a sincerity shot, please.7:50pm: Judge Rinder. Bless 'im.7:53pm: Tonight's #Strictly is like a hair-extension ponytail showdown.7:54pm: Louise and Kevin's routine: bloody marvellous.7:55pm: Tess Daly is like a shit myna bird.7:56pm: I smell tens.7:59pm: Louise and Kevin work extraordinary well together (though Kevin seems to work well with everyone he's partnered with).8:01pm: By stepping on it mid-routine, Natalie made that chaise-longue tax deductible8:03pm: Bruno recently changed his medication.8:06pm: Greg's dressed as a snooker player.8:06pm: It's AJ's birthday today. He's twelve.