Skip to main content

Strictly Come Tweeting: Week Nine (19.11.16)


One thing everyone involved with Strictly seems to drone on about all series is Blackpool Week, at least until tonight, when they’ll probably pipe down about it for another year.

While I understand the importance of the town to the ballroom world, I’m never that excited at the prospect of the programme coming from there, primarily because I’ve actually been to Blackpool, which I loved as a child, but less so as an adult; it makes Great Yarmouth look positively glamorous.

See below for my tweets about tonight’s show (with a big prediction as to one of next series’ contestants at the end; I bet I’m right):

7:00pm: That awkward moment when Will Young appears in the #Strictly opening credits.

7:02pm: The musical theatre songs I hate the most are songs about musical theatre.

7:05pm: No one's squeezing MY slow winkleman.

7:06pm: Tess' sympathetic "Awwww" due to Daisy Lowe leaving made me swear and shake my fist at the television.

7:08pm: Tess Daly was taught emotions by a Vulcan.

7:11pm: Not changing the lyrics to "Hey #Strictly, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind" was missing a trick.

7:14pm: Calling Claudia a tiny mistake isn't fair.

7:17pm: Well, we won't be able to watch any dancing now that Peter Kay's made it all about him.

7:21pm: Somebody call Esther Rantzen; That's Life! is finally back on prime-time TV.

7:23pm: Bruno's subtle reference to Brucie's Play Your Cards Right was much appreciated.

7:24pm: I've got the longest flagpole in history and a slight incline on the head.

7:24pm: Tess likes a long flagpole, apparently. Poor Vernon.

7:28pm: Louise: "I definitely feel like I'm in Blackpool". you are.

7:28pm: Shit. Louise can walk down stairs.

7:29pm: Louise and Kevin are essentially dancing my wife's and my relationship.

7:31pm: Tess' patronising "Look at your little smiley face" comment to Louise made me want to punch someone.

7:35pm: Danny always looks like he should be in an advert for Gillette.

7:36pm: Danny's very, very, very, very good. He's very good.

7:39pm: Putin on the Ritz.


7:44pm: Ed Balls even plays the piano; can we have him as Prime Minister and President, please?

7:45pm: Ed had better give that floor piano back to Tom Hanks.

7:49pm: Ed Balls always manages to surprise you with his ability. Good lad.

7:50pm: Coincidentally, Ed Balls' score was my PIN.

7:53pm: Blackpool is perhaps the only week when everyone genuinely wants to go home.

7:55pm: Greg Rutherford's come as Matt Smith-era Doctor Who.

8:05pm: Something tells me @glyndoggett will enjoy Judge Rinder's choice of music (a man who owns the Special Edition of Spice World).

8:07pm: I just said to my wife "I'm very depressed that Ore's four years younger than me". Her response: "Four and a half".

8:09pm: Appearing on next year's #Strictly: Tony Blair.

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

Comedy That's Worth a Letch.

Today, I nipped to Letchworth to meet with illustrator (and one-time - two-time - comedy poet) Mushybees, to discuss an event Mostly Comedy will act as surrogate parents to as part of Letchworth’s Arts Takeover in a couple of weeks. Months ago he got into contact to see if we’d be up for co-organising a comedy stage as part of Letchworth’s weekend of arts-based attractions in July; something I’d provisionally said yes to, before things got hectic in the lead-up to Edinburgh and we didn’t take it any further. Despite not getting down to the nitty-gritty straight away, we managed to pull a line-up together in a back-and-forth of emails yesterday, leading to me getting Glyn’s blessing and us deciding we’d officially go ahead with it (whatever ‘officially’ means in this context). In reality, it’s not complicated: from 12pm until 6pm-ish on the 22 nd July, Glyn, Mushybees and I will host four Edinburgh previews from four acts (including me), before Nor...

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...