Strictly Come Tweeting: Week Eight (12.11.16)

Tonight’s Strictly Come Dancing was another evening of top quality performances, if you managed to blank out Tess Daly’s links.

I sometimes worry my tweets about her are too bullying, but then hear her speak. It’s like listening to an automaton, who somehow manages to be physically close to the action on the dance floor, yet mentally distant. It’s as if she saw a terrible road accident on the way into Elstree that she can’t blank from her mind, or she’s recovering from shellshock. Thank God Claudia Winkleman’s there to raise the standard.

See below for tonight’s Twitter ramblings (unless you’re Tess, when you’d better skip it):

6:58pm: If anyone isn't wearing a poppy on tonight's #Strictly , at any point, I'm kicking off. Even if it falls off mid-dance.

6:59pm: Tess Daly's dress is a mystery to me.

7:05pm: Daisy Lowe and Aljaž danced in front of a VW (a camper van) and Bruno Tonioli (a camper man).

7:06pm: Daisy Lowe has both hair extensions and leg extensions.

7:09pm: It's nice to see the cast of Three Amigos helping Claudia with her terms and conditions.

7:11pm: Tonight, Greg's wearing his waders.

7:12pm: You wouldn't mess with Natalie.

7:15pm: Tess Daly's heard of emotions. She read about them in a book.

7:21pm: My favourite of Judge Rinder and Oksana's routines thus far, which I'm sure you needed to know.

7:24pm: They could replace Tess Daly with a Dictaphone and get the same amount of emotionally detached repetitions.

7:27pm: It's dress-down Saturday for Ore.

7:30pm: I think Ore just made me turn.

7:31pm: I need stop saying "Oh, fuck off" every time Tess speaks.

7:37pm: Ed Balls dancing to Gangnam Style. Donald Trump nearly in the White House. What New World Order is this?

7:37pm: Tonight, Ed Balls has come as Ted from Hi-De-Hi!

7:42pm: I wish they'd stop giving Ed Balls all the comedy numbers and give him a chance to dance.

7:44pm: There's milk in my fridge older than AJ and Claudia.

7:45pm: AJ & Claudia are sweeter than marzipan.

7:54pm: Dave Arch: "So, tonight you're singing I Heard it Through the Grapevine and Gangnam Style." Vocalist: "................right."

7:59pm: Big Spender proved to be a Big Ender.